stubburn parents

I have lost my five lovely grandchildren because of two stubburn parents.

I am blaming myself for everything that happened to my grandchildren. Let me clear the air. Maybe I am part to be blamed for all these.

I love my children so much that I tend to be very over protective. I shield them with my wings and would never allow anything to hurt them. Even when they were young I used to fight with the father whenever he wanted to decipline them.

I would defend them at all costs and would never allow the father to even utter any unkind words to them what more to hit them(not that he wanted to hit them,they were wonderful children).

I could never blame my children for their wrongdoings. They are the greatest love of my life and I always consider that I and only me can decipline them.This sometimes irritates my husband who loves his children as much as I do.

Now I am facing a very acute problem. I love my five grandchildren more than my life, especially my eldest daughter's children cos I have been staying and looking after this five grandchildren all their life.I want to protect them with all my heart. So when the father took them away when the parents were divorced I cried and cried and life is not the same anymore.

I hated the husband's drinking problem because I was so scared whenever he came back in the wee hours of the morning drunk and shouting and waking up the children.

I do not really know the cause of his drinking problem. My daughter wanted him to quit drinking but he refused. It was his ego and my daughter refused to accept his drinking habit which I was told is not such a big deal to his family. To them drinking is a pleasure and they never make a big fuss ot it. But to us drinking is totally unacceptable and intolerable. We were brought up that way.

To them drinking can solve problems. He started drinking when his mother died. He felt he is being cheated by the sister. He should be getting a bigger share of his the mother's estates because he being the son. He is entitled more than the girls. He was very unhappy after that and started drinking. He kept drinking to solve his problem. He went drinking when his two cows died.He drinks when he cannot get sex from his wife. He drinks when he is depressed.

My daughter tried to stop him from drinking, but the more she tried the worse he gets. It was his EGO and my daughters EGO. Both of them want to have the last say.

Finally she filed for divorce and he moved out of the house bringing all their five children with him.

I have always devoted myself to the children and took good care of them since I am staying next door with them. Now I have lost them all.

The children became the victim of the parental ego. They do not have a propper place to go whenever their father got drunk. He would not allow to children to come back to the house. Their is a tug-of-war going on and the childlren is entanggled-in-between. It breaks my heart to see the children. They are so unsettled and confused.

They are neither here not there. The love me too. I wished they would settled their differences by getting back together again for the sake of the children. I am just hoping and praying that he willl come back to the house and she will accept him again just for the children. I HOPE THEY WILL REMARRY AGAIN AND THE CHILDREN WILL HAVE ALL OF US AGAIN.

God will grant your wish if you prayed really hard.

My eldest daughter seem not to trust God anymore, because she is so frustrated with her ex-husband who never seem to change despite her prayers asking Allah to change him. She had gone on a pilgrimage to Mecca and prayed in Masjidil Haram to ask Him to help change her husband's drinking habit. She prayed and prayed but her prayers seems to have gone unnoticed.

She wanted him to stop drinking so much because she cannot tolerate it anymore. It has taken a toll on her and her children. He would only stop for a month or a week and then he would be back on his drinking trail again when he cannot get his way.

When he is drunk he tortured everybody including his own children. Sometimes bringing and forcing them to watch him drink at his drinking outlet, one of which is the "goldenn city" in town, for hours. Sometimes he drank at any roadside stalls in Kampung Cina and made the children (including his second daughter Yana who is already a teenager) to sit and watch him drink.


I understand how you feel, my dearest daughter, but God listens to you if you keep on believing in Him. It is written in the Holy Qur'an.

So keep on praying to Him and seek His forgiveness. Maybe God has some other blessings for you. Remember Allah loves us all and He will never let us down if you trust Him fully.

Please, my dearest daughter, I know God only listens to you when you pray really hard. God listened to me when I prayed for him to release me of my problem when Ba took a second wife.
I prayed to God to release me of my pain of having to share him with another woman.

I prayed really hard for ten years. I cried and cried and begged Him to release me of the pain. Yes, He indeed answered my prayers, He took Ba away as a solution to my problem. I cannot think of a better solution than that.

As a precaution though, be careful how you prayed and what you asked for. Do not ask for something that will eventually make you loose something more valuable than what you really want.

We do not know what God has in store for you, my dear daughter. We love your children so dearly and God knows that, so let us pray for Allah's blessings for their wellness, happiness, strength and success in life here and thereafter. Most important of all is, let them be protected and guided by Allah to the right path always.

A brute is trying to break into my house and terrorising us

Two nights ago we were rudely awakened by a thunderous bang on my bedroom door. I thought an earthquate had struck Kota Bharu. The whole house shake because of heavy kick from a drunkard man, who was once married to my daughter. He is my son-in-law no more.

They have been divorced almost a year ago through a court order, and I hope he will never be my son-in-law ever again until the day I die. If he wanted to remarry my daughter, he had to do it over my dead body. I hate him so much for what he did to my daughter and my grand-children that I hated him from the bottom of my heart. My daughter had 5 children by him before she called it a day because she cannot tolerate him no more.

He spent all his money on booze and hardly give any to my daughter, who is a lawyer by profession and he is nothing but a brute and behave like a gangster.He is only a human being when he is sober but turns into an "Iblis" when he is drunk and he boozes every day and nights.So he is most of the time an "Iblis". He boozes all night long and sleep or watch TV all day long.

He shouts at his children but never lay his hand on them and accuses my daughter of adultery and all sorts of bad things. He tells people that my daughter is "an Iblis bertopingkan manusia", which actually aptly fits him like a skin on his body. He is really "the Iblis bertopingkan manusia" meaning the devil masquerading a human being" which he is.

Last night again (sunday 18th of May, 2008) he came banging the door in the middle of the night(drunk of course) and tried to come into my house. He kept on banging and kicking the solid door and shouting for my daughter to open it.

When he realised that the door was too strong for him,he asked the maid to take a parang to break my solid door made from hard wood called "Seraya Kitang" which is almost equivalent to "Kayu cengal". He keeps on banging and kicking the door like a mad man and shouting, but luckily only the door knobs gave way.

The reason being, he wanted my daughter back,so bad that he had been spending money paying the bomohs so that my daughter wants him back. But my daughter has had enough of him and do not want him anymore.

In fact my daughter once told me that when she sees him , he reminded her of a babi(pork chop), not like a man anymore, which is definitely haram to touch. So how can she remarry him. But he cannot accept that facts and keep on insisting that he still wants her and wanted to have another child with her.It is only is EGO really.

Being a "raja" he cannot accepts rejections. He only wanted to torture her and use the children to get his way. He knew that we all loved the children and the children loved us and this facts too make him feel "small". Obviously he cannot take it and wanted revenge. He think by torturing us he will get his way and my daughter will give in and take him back.

I was really very scared and was trembling and shaking like never before. I was shaking from head to toe. I was sure if he was able to break the door I would smash his head.

Me and my daughter was sitting in front of the door, waiting for him and I was trembling and shaking and I felt so helpless and scared. I had never been so scared because we are being confronted by a frustrated and a drunk man.

Armed with a stick given to me by an orang Asli (I was it told had certain powers) I was ready to strike him, but my legs and my whole body was trembling and shaking, but I was determined to strike him. I will not let him come into our house and take away my grandchildren who are soundly asleep with us.

It was only about half an hour later, that he stopped banging and kicking, because he knew he cannot come to us, because the door just would not give way to him.So we were spared this time. I do not know what he will do next. This man is MAD. He once said he wanted to burn the house.

We are neighbours to a mad man. He thinks he is powerful because of his connections to the Sultan and Raja Perempuan of Kelantan. He being one of the younger brother of the Raja perempuan. He wanted to take away the children from us. He is been telling my daughter that if she refused him then we will never see the children again.

We loved the dear children too much and he knew that. They are our body and souls. If he takes away the children, my heart will burst. Miki especially means everything to me.

Now I have no choice but to keep the adjoining door locked for good.But this will mean my grandchildren will not be able to come over to my side of the house anymore. If they want to come, they have to go through the main door.

My daughter do not like the idea. She still insisted that I keep the middle(adjoining) door open for easy axcess especially for Miki,who likes to escape from his father in the middle of the night.

But my daughter just do not understand that she is not staying in that house anymore. Somebody who had just tried to smash my door and destroyed my property is staying there now.

In Kelantsn people treats the royal families, as though they are sacred. It is high time people change their attitude and treat them like ordinary people, because they are all ordinary people. Their stools are as dirty as ours and as smelly as any others. So what is so special about them. Trust me they are like us, in every way.

Stop treating them like some sacred gods.It is making them "big headed" and make them feel "special".That is how my ex-son-in-law thinks. He think he is the most powerful person in this earth and no one can go against his wishes because he is the "Raja".Well, even "Raja Brook" cannot keep his throne in Sarawak.


With this I wish Karpal Singh "best wishes" and may he win his case and put everyone on a level playing field. Malaysia will prosper if the people are willing to work hard, with or without the royalties.

Thinking of my mother on mother's day

Today is mothers day again. It is 11th May and I know all my children appreciates and loves me. They have all been showering me with gifts and well wishes every year and this year is no different. I even received a gift from my son who is away in the U.S. Thank you so much Nikai and Eli.

To my eldest daughter Lin, your gift is special. It is what I have always wanted. But you shouldn't have spent so much on it.

All my 6 children showed me their love in different ways and I felt so blessed. May Allah bless you all always and hope that all your children will do the same to you too.

But I do not have a mother anymore. She had left me twenty years ago (November 1988 at the age of 66), but I still cannot get over it. I still missed her so much. The more I thought about her the more I missed her. If only she is alive today she would be 86 years old.

I know if she is still here today, she would be quite old. But I wished she is still here - sharing things with me - forever laughing and smiling. She was such a wonderful woman and I have never heard raised her voice in her entire life - compared to me who shouts a lot.

Even at this very moment I wished I could tell her how much I missed her and wished she is here to share my happinesss and blessings. My mother was such a good listener. She was always there for me when I needed her.

My mother was such a perfect woman and there will be no other mother in the world who is better than her. I Love her so much.

"Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat keatas roh ibuku, Nik Som binti Nik Mustapha dan semoga Allah menempatkan dia bersama-sama orang yang beramal Soleh dan dikasehi Allah".

Quality of civil servants in Malaysia.

I was in Universiti Science Malaysia(USM) on the 27th of April 2008. I had accompanied Kuyana to get the result of her MRI test which she did two weeks ago.

It was a very dissappointing and tiring experience. Imagine we were there at 10.00 a.m for the 10.30 appointment. After leaving Kuyana at the registration counter,I had to drive round and round for almost 20 minutes looking for parking space before I could find one(which btw is also illegal).

I had no choice. I took the chance again. The last time I was there the authorities already locked my car tyres and I had to pay a RM10 fine before they released my car. They wanted to charge me RM30 but I told them I did not bring that much money to hospital and the only money I had was RM10. So there goes my RM10.

But it was not only the fine that irritate me but the whole system in USM me. There are just too many red tapes one had to go through before one can get to see the doktor himself.

We had to wait and wait for our turns despite the fact that the appointment was set for 10.30 a.m.

We had to wait for nearly 3 hours before finally being called in only to be told that the result of the MRI is not yet ready or is not in the file. Imagine the frustrations and definitely my blood pressure rises again.

But that is how things are in every government hospitals. The staff are not sensitive to human feelings. They fixed an appointment just to make a fool of you. The doctors who are supposed to see yo, had to make their rounds in the wards before they see the outpatient.

I think this is terrible systems. Why should the doctors who should be at the outpatient clinic not be at the clinic on time and why does the files not updated when appointment dates are set? I notice the administration staff were not that busy and took things very lightly when asked to explain.

It is the attitude of civil servants in Malaysia. They are just too spoilt a could'nt care less what the public thinks or felt. All they know is to be paid their salary at the end of the month and asking for more pay rise every year. But the quality of their work never improve year after year.

These civil servants are not relevant anymore.

dairi kehidupan

Pada 23 April lalu aku pergi jumpa doktor pakar di Hospital besar Kota Bharu. Sepatutunya selepas berjumpa doktor kesihatan aku bertambah baik. Tapi apa yang berlaku adalah sebaliknya. Sehingga kehari ini akuu masih lemah dan merasa sengal-sengal dan lengoh diseluruh tubuhku.

Mungkin akibat menunggu terlalu lama sebelum dapat bertemu doktor. Aku telah diberi berbagai ubat untuk menyihatkan diri ini. Doktor telah memberi aku 7 jenis ubat:-
1.Lavastatin 20mg - cholestral 4.4
2.Duspatalin 135mg - IBS
3.Amludipine 5mg- high blood pressure
4.Ca Lactate - asteroprosis
5.Fusamax Fumg - astroprosis
6.MVT T -general health

Melihat kepada ubat-ubat pun sudah cukup membuktikan bahawa keadaan kesihatan ku bukanlah baik sangat.

Tetapi dek terpaksa menunggu 3 jam itu menyebabkan penyakit darah tinggi ku melonjak naik hingga 149/93. Inilah keadaannya kalau pergi kehospital kerajaan. Tapi apa kan daya. Inilah sahaja tempat yang aku dapat ubat percuma dan berkualiti tinggi pulak tu.

Tapi sejak pergi jumpa doktor hari tu, sudah tiga hari tak berdaya keluar rumah kerana letih. Sepatutnya selepas pergi hospital lebih cergas dan sihat. Tapi aku tetap bersyukur kerana masih ada selera makan

What a mother wants for their children is to be successful and happy in life.Every child is precious to her. She would sacrifice all of her life to give her children the best that she can offer.
She would keep herself awake all night if her child fell ill. She would trade that sickness with herself rather than let her child suffer the slightest chill.

The first few weeks of the baby's life was the most critical. She would watch every move, to ensure that her baby breathe throughout day and night.

A mother's love knows no bound. She is willing to share everything she has and would not let despair ever to touch her child.

She would feel the teething pain that her baby goes through, on the sixth month of her baby's life. Finding all sort of remedies to ease the pain, but to no avail. Seeing the first tooth was such a joy to behold. Relief her of all the pains.

She waited for all her children to grow up and enjoy what life has to offer. Life has its ups and downs and thus her children should learn to take it in their strides. They have to be strong and brave to take life's challenges and not give up easily.

Work hard and always aim the highest. Think hard and be creative. Look for new ideas and bring it forward and above all always pray to Allah and ask for His every blessings.

Human rights day 9th December2007

It pained me to know this morning that Lin had to go to the Police because her friends Edmond Bond and Amir was arested by Police for defying police order.

I have only these words for you Lin: DO NOT GET INVOLVE.
you know I have always supported you, but not now. I will continue to support if you just stick to fighting for women's justice or women's rights. that is more appopriate for you. We have everything going for us. Good job, good home and a wonderful family to fall back on. Stop being foolish and fall for silly political gimmicks. Do not waste your talents on something that is not going to benefit all Malaysians.

Budaya yang merugikan

Diri ini terasa begitu teruja melihat telatah orang-orang lama(tua) disini masih kuat, bertenaga dan berdikari. Kalau diukur dengan orang Melayu ia bagaikan langit dgn bumi. Orang Melayu yang seusia dengan mereka sudah pasti duduk diam-diam dirumah. Usahkan nak naik kenderaan awam, hendak melintas jalan pun harus dipimpin.

Inilah masaalah orang Melayu terlalu takut(timid). Sikit sikit nak minta tolong. Tak pandai nak berdikari. Sudah tiba masanya kita keluar dari kepompong budaya yang tidak menguntungkan.Umur 40 tahun sudah dikatakkan tua, apatah lagi umur 50 atau 60 tahun sudah dikatakan "rumah sudah menyuruh pergi-kubur pula sedang menunggui". Umur 40 tahun kita baru nak menenali hidup dengan segala macam cabarannya - sudah dikatakan tua.

Sepatutnya orang Melayu buang jauh-jauh kepercayaan yang karut marut bahawa rezeki "secupak takkan jadi segantang".Kalau kita rajin berusaha dan tidak mudah menyerah kalah saya percaya rezeki yang secupak akan menjadi sekawah atau dua tiga kawah, asalkan kita tidak takut kepada cabaran dan berani berjuang seperti bangsa-bangsa lain yang kebanyakannya datang sehelai sepinggang tetapi apabila berada dinegara kita menjadi jutawan, dermawan dan hartawan yang disegani.

Saya lihat orang-orang tua disini berjalan sendiri dengan langkah yang kuat dan gagah walau pun usianya ternyata sudah melebihi 70 an. Lelaki dan wanita kelihatan sama gagah. Yang wanitanya masih berdandan dan memakai anting-anting besar, leher disalut dengan mutiara besar berwarnawarni. Walalupun mereka sudah bertungkat,namun masih pergi kesupermarket sendirian. Biarpun semasa membuat bayaran tangan sudah nampak terketar-ketar.

Pelayan-pelayan dikaunter pun sabar menunggu dan tidak ada yang mengherdik atau menyuruh cepat. Mereka sentiasa senyum dan menunggu dengan sabar.

Dikala menaiki bas mereka tidak dikenakan bayaran sekadar menunjukan kad dan mereka diberi masa duduk sebelum bas bergerak. Tidak seperti diMalaysia belum pun penumpang sempat duduk bas sudah berjalan.

Alangkah bagusnya kalau kita orang timur yang dikatakan berhemah dan berbudi pekerti mulia mengambil iktibar dari contoh orang-orang Barat melayan orang tua. Mereka lebih menghormati mereka dari kita yang begitu gah mendabik dada bahawa kita lebih menghargai jasa orang tua. Mana buktinya?

Lihat sajalah dijalanraya, mana ada peruntukan untuk orang tua bergerak atau berjalan. Semua nya asyik nak buat duit. Buat jalan terus pasang parking meter. Tak ada langsung ruang untuk pejalan kaki.

Akhirnya orang tua tinggal dirumah. Puncanya "budaya yang merugikan".

Travelling overseas more difficult these days

I have always enjoyed travelling and have travelled and visited many places since I was young. But I think travelling now is not as enjoyable as before. There are too many restrictions to be adhered to.

Do you know that you can only carry one hand luggage with you into the cabin?. I remember when my children were studying overseas they used to carry as many as three hand luggage. One on their back, normally the computer,which is the most precious, one overnight bag, in case their luggage got lost in transit and their little pouch which contains their passports and tickets.

Not anymore. Today we are only allowed one hand luggge(that include handbag).They also restrict any forms of liquids allowing only certain mlgm.to be carried on board.

At Heathrow I was questioned by the Immigration whether I had proof to show that I had the permission of Ku Amir's parents to bring him along. I had travelled with my other grandchild before and nobody ever asked for any proof.

Imagined what could have happened if they did not let Kuamir continue with the journey to Cork. What would I do? But thank Allah the Almighty, we were allowed to proceed with the journey.

I do not blame the immigration authourity. They are just doing their job. But it shows how critical the situation is. The security is very tight cos there are too many threat around us. So look after your children and make sure you know where they are all the time.

I want a politically stable Malaysia for keep

I felt so sad to see the Hindus taking to the street protesting. It is so scarry- lest it turns into another 13 May,1969.

I am sure the opposition is behind this. But let me remind my children never to get involved. Lin especially. you have so many Indian friends, but do not let them mislead you. Remember what Ba used to say about Indians?

Malaysia is so peaceful and everybody should be thankful for the blessings. How come so many Indians become doctors and lawyers in Malaysia. Where did they get the money to get that education, if not for the wonderful education system we have in Malaysia?

Even if the British did not bring them here, they would themselves be coming in droves to look for jobs here. Look at the Bangladeshis, Indonesians, Thais and others. Why are they here today?

I want a peaceful and stable country for my children and their future generations to enjoy. Let everyone work hard to make this country ours for keep. l love you all.

Visiting my son in Ireland

I am back in Cork, Ireland for the third time.The last time I was here was two years ago.The first time I was here I had my granddaughter,Tengku Diyana for company. We really enjoyed ourselves visiting new places and we did a lot of window shopping.This time I had Tengku Amir,Diyana's younger brother,with me.

I have always enjoyed travelling especially to a country with a temperate climate. I love to see the snow and also enjoyed watching the different culture and ways of life in different parts of the world. It make me realize the greatness of our creator. The more I see the world the more I feel His creations.

When I visiited the Niagara Falls way back in l960's, I was so fascinated by the height and majestic falls. I was thrilled and awed by it's greatness.When I visited Tokyo I saw how men was able to overcome the devastation of war by building back a city so sophisticated and modern in such a short time. I think of Hiroshima being destroyed during the war and how quickly the Japanese rebuild themselves.

In 1984 when I had the opportunity to perform my Haj for the first time, I was overwhelmed by the sight of the Kaabah that I cried and cried. I felt so close to God and I felt I was welcome by Him into His home.

Then in l998 I travelled to Iran with my youingest son,Azan, whom I am now visiting in Ireland, I felt an enormous sense of fascination once again.This time I was amazed at the majestic ruins left behind by the ancient civilization.Looking at the gigantic structures and pillars left standing, their achitectural knowledge must have been greater than our present civilization.

But now I realised it is not that easy to travel as you grow older. My leg is not as strong as before, so if you have the time and money don't wait. See the world while you can.

The Malays in Kelantan.

The Malays in Kelantan are by nature very creative. They are excellent weavers, wood carvers, goldsmith, silversmith, batik producers, kite making, boat making, and other creative abilities. Just look at the beautiful gifts created by their nimble fingers for the bride and grooms at engagements, weddings and other arrays of beautiful door gifts that greet you as you made your exit at wedding invitations.

In general the Malays are very easy to please; soft spoken; helpful and possess a very pleasant disposition. But they are very sensitive and are easily irritated and normally cannot tolerate demeaning remarks about them or their family members.

The Kelantan men, are at one time, very famous for “kapak bungkus” which is used to teach a lesson to those who deviate or display an improper conduct or behavior which are considered ill-mannered by Kelantan standard.

Note: Kapak bungkus is a small axe. The blade only measures about one inch but the the handle is quiet heavy and can kill if correctly used. It is usually wrapped in yellow cloth.

The Men in Kelantan are fearless and are very passionate about their women. They are well protected and are not allowed to find their own mates. The women cannot choose their own marriage partners without family blessings. So if a girl eloped with her boyfriend, a “kapak bungkus” will soon land on the boy’s head.

The most scaring part of this teaching a lesson is however not done by the family members themselves, but by paid “kepala kapak bungkus: whose work is only to do the job and as soon as the job is done, the “kepala’ will disappear across the border and nothing can be done about it.

Arrogance

It is very easy to please the Kelatanese. Just be humble, and never display an air of arrogance or “Agah” or “Gaah”, be it in speech or in behavior. Always keep a low profile, even if you are holding the highest position in the corporate, public or private sector.

People like Pak Lah, our Honourable Prime Minister have that acceptable traits liked by the Kelantanese. Even the Menteri Besar of Kelantan likes him.

Tolerable traits are simplicity and sincerity.

Always maintain a simple life style and be sincere in your dealings. The Malays are also by nature very sincere in their dealings and do not take easily to those who are out to fool them. That is the reason why the Chinese are not welcome in Kelantan, unless they assimilate with the Kelantanese way of life.

It is not uncommon to see Chinese adopting similar behavior to the Malays in Kelantan. They adopt their culture, dialect and do not speak their own mother tongue when they are in the company of Malays even with their own family.

The Chinese can easily be mistaken for a Malay in more ways than one. When I first came back to Kelantan, in the late nineties, I had to do some minor repairs to my house. Although the contractors are Chinese ( I knew that later) I cannot differentiate from one to the other. They all look alike. Their way of dressing, some even wear the “semutars” or the Malay men’s headgear made from sarung. Their speaking and body language, all brought out the similarities in them and the best of all I remember was, they will response “insyaallah” to my requiests.

I find these very amusing and do not know whether I am talking to a Malay or a Chinese.

ISU ISU YANG MENGGANGGU FIKIRAN

Isu Mahasiswa menganggur telah dibangkitkan berkali-kali oleh berbagai pihak sejak beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini. Difahamkan terdapat hampir 80,000 mahasiswa menganggur diseluruh negara.

Sebagai anak watan yang cintakan Negara dan bangsanya saya amat kecewa dan bersimpati dengan masaalah yang menimpa golongan terpelajar ini. Mereka yang telah menghabiskan dan masa bertahun-tahun bertungkus lumus, mentelaah dan berusaha untuk mendapat segulung ijazah demi masa depan mereka dan keluarga mereka. Apakah ini balasan yang setimpal dengan usaha mereka? Sungguh malangnya nasib mereka. Terumbang ambing, terkapai-kapai, bagaikan badai ditengah lautan bergelora.

Cogan-cogan kata hikmat yang membakar semangat masih terdengar-dengar dicuping telinga ini semasa Bapa Kemerdekaan kita mengishtiharkan kemerdekaan dipadang bertuah bumi Melaka. ‘Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!’

Orang-orang Melayu begitu bersemangat menentang Malayan Union. Menurunkan bendera Union Jack dengan harapan segala-segala akan berubah. Orang Melayu akhirnya diberi taraf pemerintahan sendiri. Maka bermulalah sejarah baru, terombaklah sejarah lama.

‘Masa depan negara bergantung kepada kita sendiri’
‘Kitalah yang mencorakkan kehidupan kita’.
Itulah antara kata-kata hikmat yang selalu dilaung dan diungkapkan oleh pemimpin-pemimpin politik pada waktu itu. Masihkah ia releven pada hari ini?

Pilihanraya demi pilihanraya telah diadakan. Rakyat jelata telah memilih pemimpin demi pemimpin untuk mentadbir negera ini. Mereka yang terpilih adalah terdiri dari orang-orang yang bijak berkata-kata penuh dengan ritoric-retoric yang memukau. Maka berubahlah corak pemerintahan negeri ini. Kekayaan Negara mula dimanafaatkan.

Kini orang kampong yang dulunya miskin telah mula merasa kehebatan kepemimpinan kita. Rumah-rumah batu tersergam indah disana sini. Dikampung, dibandar atau didesa. Hospital, klinik desa, sekolah dan universiti semuanya ada. Peluang pekerjaan pun bercambah-cambah bak cendawan selepas hujan..

Berbagai bidang pekerjaan terbuka luas sehinggakan kita menjadi tumpuan pekerja-pekerja asing dari jauh dan dekat. Semua tertumpu kesini umpama kupu-kupu diwaktu malam mengelilingi pancaran cahaya pelita. Umpama kelkatu mengerumuni lampu nion sehingga meyuramkan suasana kawasan itu sendiri.

Mereka bukan sahaja datang memperhambakan diri, sebagai pekerja buruh binaan, pembantu rumah, pekerja kilang, pembantu digedung-gedung perniagaan Tidak kurang pula yang datang sebagai tuan mengusai berbagai bidang peniagaan kecil dan besar.

Mereka yang mempunyui paras rupa pun turut datang menjaull kecantikan mereka, apalagi mereka yang mempunyai bakat seni tersendiri berpusu-pusu menjual karya seni dan bakat masing-masing..

Malah orang-orang asing ini juga telah mula mengusai bidang-bidang yang sepetutnya menjadi hak milik mutlak penduduk negeri ini saperti bidang nyanyian dan lakunan. Lihat sahajalah orang-orang saperti M. Nasir, Ferhad, rakyat Singapura, negeri yang dikatakan maju sangat itu pun datang mencari rezeki dinegeri ini.

Mereka ini bukan sahaja diberi peluang tingal dinegeri ini, bahkan dipuja dan diberi penghormatan demi penghormatan. Anak watan yang berjuang menuntut kemerdekaan , orang lain pula yang menikmati hasilnya. Adakah ini yang dikatakan kemajuan yang kita impi-impikan?

Orang lain mengaut hasil anak watan terciri layu. Patutlah kita diberi nama orang ‘Melayu’ Apakah orang Melayu akan terus’ layu’ dibumi sendiri. Inilah agaknya yang dikatakan ‘menang sorak kampong tergadai’. Itek diair mati kehausan, ayam dikepuk mati kelaparan.

Pilihanraya sudah selesai. Apakah kita hendak menunggu tiga atau empat tahun lagi sebelum isu-isu ini menjadi isu lebih hangat dan ganas?

Bagaimana mungkin harapan negara hendak dipikul oleh generasi akan datang, andainya tiada jaminan masa depan untuk mereka? Bagaimanakah mereka hendak memimpin kalau kerja pun tak ada.

Wang adalah segalanya

Dalam dunia yang serba maju in, wang adalah segala-galanya. Lihat sahaja dikiri kanan kita. Mana ada pemimpin yang berpengaruh kalau ianya miskin wang ringgitnya. Dinegara gajah putih,Thailand, Thaksin Chinawat misalnya, adalah seorang jutawan, maka itulah sebabnya ia begitu berpengaruh walapun corak kepimpinanannya boleh dipersoalkan. Begitu juga di Rumah Putih, Amerika Syarikat, dimana George W.Bush begitu berkuasa dan berpangaruh. Ini adalah kerana kekayaan wang ringgit hasil dari beberapa syarikat petroleum yang dikuasainya. Begitu juga dengan keluarga John F.Kenneddy. Jarang sekali kita bertemu pemimpin terkenal didunia ini, yang miskin wang ringgit berjaya bertahan lama.

Pemimpin datang pemimpin bergi.

Pemimpin mesti ada wang. Orang-orang bawahnya mesti ada wang. Kalau tidak siapa hendak beri makan anak bini mereka yang bekerja dibawah mereka. Ini hakikat. Mereka yang kaya raya memang beruntung. Kemana saja pergi, mereka disanjung dan dipuja. Kawan sekeliling pinggan. Pingat dan darjah kebesaran mudah sahaja menjadi milik mereka. Tapi yang miskin papa, bertambah derita dan dipandang hina. Apakah kita mahu siswa kita disuatu hari nanti menjadi pembantu rumah seperti siswazah-siswazah negara Filipina dan India ? Di India misalnya siswazah-siswazahnya banyak menganggur. Akibatnya mereka terpaksa membuat kerja-kerja yang tidak sepadan dengan kelusuan Menjadi pemandu pelancung adalah satu darinya. Apabila ditanya kenapa mereka berkata ia lebih baik dari menjadi penganggur.

Penulis ini telah lama bergiat didalam persatuan-persatuan sukarela semenjak dibangku sekolah lagi. Perjuanan kami adalah untuk menebus marwah bangsa, negara dan ugama yang telah terjajah begitu lama. Sekarang ini walaupun telah bersara dari jawatan kerajaan, namun semangat perjuangan masih segar didalam tubuh ini.

Dalam dunia yang serba canggih ini wang adalah segala-galanya. Wang adalah marwah. Wang adalah kuasa. Wang adalah kedudukan.Dengan wang ringgit walaupun sudah lanjut usia punmasih mampu memiliki prempuan-perempuan cantik sebagai isteri atau perempuan simpanan..

Bagi penganggur wang adalah satu masalah besar, terutama pada masa sekarang. Wang diperlukan pada setiap masa.

Bayangkanlah perasaan belia-belia ini yang tidak ada kerja, walaupun sudah bergelar “graduate”. Dimana silapnya? Sudahkah kita mencari puncanya?

Pada hemat saya, tidak perlu kita menuding jari kepada sesiapa, kerana pemilik badan itu sendirilah yang patut memberi jawapannya. Banyak pihak yang sering menuding jari kepada kementerian Sumber manusia dan Kementerian pendidikan kerana merekalah yang dipertanggungjawab dalam soal ini. Mungkin ada betulnya. Tapi tidak mungkin kedua-dua pihak ini sahaja yang patut dipersalahkan. Pemimpin datang dan pergi. Tukar pemimpin pun tak ada banyak bezanya, andainya tuan empunya badan sendiri yang tidak bertanggungjawab kepada dirinya sendiri.

Mungkin salah satu sebab utama berlakunya demikian adalah kerana budaya orang Melayu itu sendiri yang masih berpegang kepada pepatah lama bahawa rezeki secupak tak akan menjadi segantang.

Juga mungkin juga keadaan ini berlaku keranam pemimpin akar umbi terlalu banyak bermain politik sehingga terlupa tanggungjawab sosial. Namun begitu ia hanya satu andaian. Mungkin pihak cerdik pandai dipusat-pusat pengajian tinggi boleh memberi jawapan yang lebih tepat sebab mereka terdedah kepada berbagai penyelidikan ilmiah.


Perbezaan politik dan tanggungjawab social.

Politik adalah untuk menang dalam pilihanraya. Politik adalah kuasa dan pengaruh. Orang-orang politik akan berbuat apa sahaja untuk mencari pengaruh. Mereka menabur janji. Manakala pihak lawan pula akan membuat memfitnah, konon sebagai pembela nasib rakyat. Masih ramai yang tidak sedar bahawa jika terlalu banyak berpolitik, negara tidak akan stabil. Ini akan mengakibatkan pelabur-pelabur segan untuk menanam modal yang besar-besar kerana takut kemanan tidak terjamin.

Sepatutnya sebaik sahaja pilihanraya selesai, maka berakhirlah tuduh menuduh dan cela mencela. Semua pihak patut berdamai dan menerima keputusan rakyat dan bekerja keras untuk memberi khidmat kepada rakyat yang mereka pimpin.

Tanggungjawab sosial, adalah tanggungjawab yang berterusan kepada rakyat. Tanggungjawab sosial tiada noktahnya selagi ia diperlukan. Pada masa ini masih banyak tanggungjawab sosial yang diperlukan. Soal kemiskinan, perumahan, air bersih, udara bersih, sampah sarap yang tidak dipungut, banjir kilat, pengangkutan awam, tandas awam, kesihatan awam dan banyak lagi.

Sedangkan politik sibuk dengan isu-isu remeh temeh seperti isu pakaian wanita dan aurat wanita. Apakah isu ini begitu penting hinggakah Dato’ Nik Aziz dan kuncu-kuncunya tak lekang-lekang dengan persoalan ini. Sedangkan soal lain yang lebih penting seperti mengadakan bekalan air bersih kepada penduduk Kelantan tak habis-habis menjadi masalah.

Isu belia Kelantan yang terpaksa berhijrah ke Kuala Lumpur kerana ketiadaan peluang pekerjaan tidak pula diheboh dan diperbesarkan. Yang mereka tahu hanya mengharamkan segala bentuk hiburan yang menjadi sebahagian dari cara hidup dan punca pencarian orang Kelantan telah ditiadakan. Kini orang Kelantan ketandusan hiburan,sehingga terpaksa melintasi sempadan untuk mencari hiburan. Tapi yang peliknya di jamuan-jamuan istana, majlis-majlis anjuran orang kenamaan boleh pula berhibur dan bersuka ria. Seolah-olah menggambarkan masih ada status jelas yang membahagikan antara golongan atasan dan golongan bawahan.

Sepatutnya negeri Kelantan, yang diisytiharkan sebagai Kota Budaya dan bandaraya Islam, tiada lagi perbezaan antara kaya dan miskin, kerana disisi Allah manusia adalah sama. Jikalau tetamu-tetamu istana boleh menikmati suara Siti Nurhaliza, Misha Omar, dan lain-lain, kenapa orang biasa tidak dibenarkan. Dimanakah ketelusan yang dijanjikan?

Apakah orang-orang atasan sahaja layak berhibur manakala orang bawahan tidak memerlukan hiburan dan penglipurlara didalam kehidupan mereka?

Berbalik kepada persoalan siswazah menganggur, apakah dengan menubuhkan sebuah universiti di Kelantan akan menyelesaikan masalah ini? Pada hemat saya,memang ia akan menyelesaikan sedikit masaalah. Kerana penubuhan university akan memberi peluang pekerjaan, perniagaan dan dengan adanya sebuah universiti di Kelantan, bererti orang-orang Kelantan tidak lagi perlu berpisah dengan ibubapa apabila melanjutkan pelajaran. Ini tanggungjawab sosial. Tapi penubuhan Universiti sahaja tidak akan menyelesaikan semua masalah.

Berbagai kementerian dan Jabatan telah ditubuhkan dari masa kesemasa untuk mengurus pelbagai masalah rakyat, namun mengapa terdapat 80,000 rakyatnya yang berpelajaran tinggi masih tidak terbela nasibnya.

Mereka ini merupakan orang-orang yang tergolong dari golongan 5% dari jumlah keseluruhan penduduk negara ini, yang berpeluang menjejakkan kaki kemenara gading.

Benak ini sentiasa tertanya-tanya siapakah siswazah-siswazah ini? Dimanakah mereka berada? Apakah jurusan yang mereka ambil semasa menuntut di Universiti? Apakah keturunan mereka? Dari manakah asal usul mereka? Bolehkan mereka dihubungi segera jika terdapat kekosongan jawatan didalam sector awam atau swasta? Sudahkah mereka ini mewujudkan sistem networking yang tersusun dikalangan mereka? Berapa kalikah mereka mengahadiri kursus- kursus atau temuduga-temuduga selepas tamat pengajian di Universiti? Bagaimanakah perwatakan dan personality mereka? Macamnakah agaknya wajah-wajah mereka? Adakah mereka in terdiri dari golongan kurang upaya? Apakah status perkahwinan dan pecahan jantina mereka?Adakah jawatan-jawatan yang mereka pohon sesuai dengan kelayakan mereka? Atau adakah masalah timbul disebabkan mereka terlalu memilih kerja sebagaimana anggapan setengah-setengah pihak? Sudahkah mereka puas berusaha mencari kerja? Adakah sesuatu yang tak kena dengan perwatakan atau personality mereka? Bagaimanakah sikap mereka terhadap diri mereka sendiri?

Sungguh banyak persoalan-persoalan ini bermain dikepala saya dan saya rasa pasti ada jalan keluar yang boleh difikirkan bersama oleh ahli-ahli politik dan juga orang-orang perseorangan?

Yang penting ialah mesti ada “kesedaran” dan komitmen yang berterusan dari pihak-pihak yang telah dipertanggungjawabkan memimpin negara ini dan juga siswa-siswa itu sendiri.

Apakah dengan menggalakkan pertumbuhan pusat-pusat pengajian tinggi dan universiti-universiti yang begitu pesat dinegara ini salah satu sebab? Atau mungkinkah kerana kepesatan pertambahan penduduk yang mencetuskan masaalah ini? Atau apakah kerana pembangunan ekonomi dan perindustrian negara tidak sepantas dengan kepesatan perkembangan penduduk? Atau apakah kerana kita masih lagi bergantung kepada sumber manusia dari luar negara yang menyebakan anak watan sendiri tercicir dari mengisi jawatan yang diujudkan?


Orang-orang politik tidak komited. Pemimpin akar umbi tidak komited. Ibubapa sendiri pun tidak komited. Apatah lagi mahasiswa-mahasiswanya.

Apa yang jelas sekarang pelajar-pelajar sekolah menengah sahaja yang kelihatan komited kepada pelajaran masing-masing. Mereka berlomba-berlomba mendapatkan 10A hingga 17A. Lepas itu mereka hilang dari pendangan. Entah ada atau tidak didalam negeri setelah tamat pengajian. Yang pasti ramai pelajar-pelajar cemerlang terus menghilangkan diri . Kenapa? Mungkin salah satu jawabnya ialah kerana kurangnya peluang pekerjaan dan juga ganjaran atau gajinya yang tidak begitu menarik. Mengapa? Sama-samalah kita fikir sendiri.

Yang pasti gaji mereka yang bergiat dalam politik begitu lumayan berbanding pekerja disektor awam. Bagi orang-orang politik,mereka hanya perlu menjawat jawatan satu penggal, sudah memadai untuk menerima pencen yang lumayan, apalagi kalau mereka menyandangnya dua atau tiga penggal. Dan itu tak cukup lagi kalau sebelum berkecimpung dalam politik, mereka telah bekerja disektor awam, pencen itupun mereka turut menikmatinya sehingga keanak cucu. Apakah ini yang dikatakan adil?

Cadangan untuk mengatasi siswazah menganggur.

Pada pendapat saya, adalah manasabah jika ditubuhkan satu perbadanan khusus untuk menagani masalah ini. Badan ini akan mengurus segala masalah siswa yang kurang bernasib baik dalam mencari pekrjaaan setelah selesai pengajian,dengan menggabungkan semua tenaga ini untuk satu-satu projek kerajaan.

Projek pertama

Antara projek yang patut siswazah ini diserapkan ialah projek tuisyen dimana kerajaan telah menyediakan peruntukan yang besar. Pada masa ini saya rasa peruntukan ini telah dimanafaatkan sepenuhnya oleh guru-guru sekolah yang sedia ada. Mereka ini yang mengaut segala peruntukan dengan menganjurkan kelas-kelas tuisyen dirumah masing-masing. Guru-guru ini bukan sahaja mengajar diwaktu malam, malah dalam masa cuti pun mereka memberi tuisyen, kerana ganjarannya yang begitu lumaya.

Ini adalah satu kesilapan besar dan satu penganiayaan. Guru ini telah pun dibayar gaji untuk mengajar disekolah. Mereka ini sudah ada kerja, ada gaji dan ada cuti yang mencukupi. Saya rasa ini adalah satu penipuan yang besar.

Ramai guru-guru sekarang kurang menumpukan tugas mereka semasa didalam bilik darjah. Sebaliknya mereka berniaga sepenuh masa dan bekerja separuh masa. Adilkah ini? Patutlah disiplin pelajar-pelajar menurun. Guru-guru sendiri tidak berdisiplin.

Kalau kita lihat dikampung-kampung sekarang. Rumah yang besar-besar didalam bendang-bendang padi itu rumah siapa?.Kalau ditanya, kebanyakan jawapannya ialah rumah Cik Gu sianu dan sianu.

Kalau dilihat pada gaji mereka tidaklah setinggi mana. Tapi gaya hidup mereka ‘Masya Allah mewahnya’. Tapi saya tidak mengatakan semua, tapi sebahagian besar terdiri dari golongan ini. Patutlah pelajar tidak begitu menghormati guru lagi. Mereka tidak lagi memberi perhatian kepada khidmat yang diharapkan.

Jadi pada hemat saya, kalau sebahagian dari siswa-siswa ini diberi tugas menjadi guru tuisyen, sekurang-kurangnya sebahagian daripada masalah ini dapatlah dikurangkan untuk beberapa jangka masa tertentu.

Projek kedua

Mengadakan satu laman web khusus untuk mereka. Disini setiap siswa diwajibkan berdaftar diri masing-masing dibawah satu jaringan networking yang tercanggih.
Siswa-siswa boleh juga diberi tugas untuk menjalankan kerja-kerja penyelidikan. Tugaskan mereka dibeberapa universiti tempatan atau dipusat-pusat penyelidikan. Gunakan kepakaran mereka dalam bidang-bidang yang berkaitan dengan keperluan kerajaan. Mereka ini tidak perlu dibayar gaji yang lumayan, mamadai dengan gaji permulaan RM600 sebulan. Saya rasa perkara ini, lebih baik daripada memberi makan kepada penagih dadah dipusat-pusat serenti dan pesalah-pesalah dipenjara yang tidak berfaedah itu.

Penagih dadah adalah masyarakat sumbang yang tidak layak diberi layanan. Siswa-siswa menganggurlah yang sepatut mendapat perhatian sewajarnya, melebihi penagih dadah. Apakah logiknya, penjenayah dapat simpati kerajaan? apatah lagi siswazah yang telah menghabiskan masa bertahun-bertahun berusha untuk menjadi orang-orang berguna kepada masyarakat. Jangan jadi sebagai pepatah melayu ‘kera dihutan disusukan, anak didokong dibiarkan’


Ada banyak lagi projek yang berada dalam benak yang kecil ini tapi sebagai seorang pesara siapa nak dengar. Cukup sahaja dicurahkan perasaan ini didalam blog ini. Sekurang-kurangnya anak-anak boleh baca. Itu pun kalau mereka sudi dan ada masa.

My Birthday

It is Wednesday, 10th October 2007. I celebrate my birthday with my youngest and cutest grandson, Tengku Mikhail (MIKI) who turns four today. In three days time we will be celebrating Hari Raya ‘Aidil Fitri’, the most celebrated month of the Muslim calendar.

Today is also the launching of the first Malaysian into space. It is indeed an auspicious day and so glad to be part of it. According to my mother I was born on a Wednesday evening just before Maghrib prayer.

Throughout this month of Ramadhan, I have managed to keep myself quite healthy. I have not missed any of the puasa and able to perform the Solat Tarawikh quite regularly on my own. This year I decided to perform the prayer at my own pace.

I love the quietness and the peacefulness of an air conditioned room in the privacy of my own home. I was able to concentrate in my own ‘doa’ instead of just being a follower of the Imam who recites verses of the Holy Quran which was too long.

I felt like a statue standing and waiting for him to finish his reading. The worst part was, I do not understand the meaning of what is being read or recited. Last year I went to the local mosque to perform the Tarawikh, not because I understand the Imam but I was there because I was taken by his good voice.

This year’s Imam, as usual also imported from Thailand for the duration of the whole of the fasting month, but I do not fancy his voice. Malaysian as a whole like imported goods. I am sure there are locals available but foreigners make better Imams I suppose!!

So this year I make it a point I know how to perform my own Tarawikh. I refer to books on how to perform the prayers and memorize all the important Surah.

I did a lot of home work on my own. I was determined to do it on my own. The result was fantastic. I do not have to rush to the mosque. After breaking the fast, I went straight up to my room to perform the Maghrib prayer and read short verses from the Quran.

Then I took a break to watch the news on TV and took a short nap before proceeding to perform the Solat Isyak and Tarawikh.

Many of my friends gave a me a weird look when I told them I don’t go to the mosque to perform the Tarawikh.

Let it be lah!!. I am happy and I hope Allah is happy with me.

PATRIOTISM AND LOYALTY

Today I felt a little guilty or apprehensive about not having any feeling of patriotism and loyalty towards my own birth place, Kelantan?. I must admit that I do not have any respect to the political leaders, or the state administrators.

It is not that I have not tried. I have even been thinking about the possibility of producing a book on Kelantan. About its people, its culture, places of interest and things like that. But words do not seem to flow when I see so many contradictory practices imposed by the state government on her people, especially her women. For that matter, I am not even an emancipated woman.

Kelantan is where I was born, educated, worked and got married.

My family and I only started moving away from Kelantan in l967 when we moved to Johor, the most southern state of Peninsular Malaysia. Moving to Johor was the first stint outside the state of Kelantan. I was very excited because we were moving near to Singapore, my shopping paradise. But sad to say, we were there only for a couple of months before we were moving again.

Before leaving for Johor in l967, I was working in the District Office, Kota Bharu for about seven years. I got myself transferred to Johor Bahru, the state capital to be with my husband who was posted to Johor Bahru.

My husband the Johor scholarship holder

He was on a Johor state Scholarship when he went to study for his first degree at the age of age of 28. He was already married with two children. Another child was born when he was in the University. He graduated with a Bachelor of law degree (L.L.B) from the University of Singapore.

Within the same year we packed our bags to go to the United States of America. My husband was offered a “Ford Foundation scholarship” to pursue his post graduate studies in Public Administration, at the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We came back to Malaysia about a month before the political unrest of May 13th 1969.My husband was later employed by the University of Malaya, Faculty of Economic and Public Administration as a lecturer where he teaches Public administration, Constitutional law and Land law.

Before going to the United States, the furthest I have ever traveled was to Singapore where my husband was studying. Of course I have been to Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Hadyaii and Sungai Golok before. But going to the U.S was beyond my wildest dream and the most exciting event in my life, but I also have to make a big decision of my life. I am talking about my mother and my little baby girl.

I was an only child

I was brought up as an only child and my mother was a single parent. I was spoilt rotten. I was never asked to do any house work nor have I ever offered to help her, but she never complained. I was treated like a Duchess.

I was very close to her. We were practically inseparable. When we moved to Johor, she came to live with us. She was everything to me. I have never done anything without her consent, permission or approval. She was always there for me. Leaving her was unthinkable at that time. But the prospect of going to U.S supersedes everything.

I was initially very sad to leave my doting mother and my baby girl ‘Chik’ whose full name is Nik Adura Zuliani. She was only nine months old then.

It was in l967 and I had been married for about seven years and already had three beautiful daughters. My first daughter ‘Lin’ whose full name is Nik Elin Zurina was six and the second girl ‘Nun’ full name Nik Ainun Zanariah ,was only five years old.
But then I had to make a choice. I think that was of the most difficult choice I have ever made in my life. I was only twenty eight years old then.

I felt so sad to leave my mother and my youngest child. It almost broke my heart. I wanted my mother to come along, but she was not keen to travel to the other side of the world. She was afraid she might die there “and it might be difficult” she told me.

I was a great fan of Hollywood Movies

I was very sad to leave her and the baby. But I did not have much choice. It is between mother and husband and the opportunity to travel overseas especially to U.S. A place I have always dreamed of, as I was a great fan of Hollywood movies in my younger days.

I was a great fan of Hollywood movie stars and was very passionate about Doris Day, Susan Hayward,Ester Williams, Elaine Stewart, Roy Rogers, Rock Hudson and John Derek. I also like Jerry Lewis the Comedian.

I even name my eldest daughter Elin after Elaine Stewart, my favorite movie star. I would have named her Elaine but that was too Western. My husband might not like that. I love Elaine Stewarts’ nose and hair. She was very beautiful.

Going to U.S was like a dream come true. I wanted to bring all the children with me but my mother insisted that she wanted me to leave my baby with her. ”You would not be able to take care of all three kids by yourself” she insisted.

I cannot deny that, all my children were closer to her than to me because I was always busy with my work. When my children were small I was holding three jobs at one time. She had her hands full looking after them.

I was working as a clerk with the District Office from 8.00a.m to 4.30 p.m. Then I would rush up to Radio Malaya, Wakaf Che Yeh where I worked as a part-time announcer ( I think now they call it Radio DJ) until about six in the evening, then in the evening around eight o’clock I will be in Kedai Mulung where I teach adult education to a group of village elders.

I was doing this until my husband graduated from the University. I was young and energetic and I was in high demand in those days. I could choose to work anywhere and anytime. I was also enjoying my popularity. It was wonderful to be recognized wherever you go.

Leaving mother and daughter and life in the U.S in the sixties

Leaving Kelantan to go to the U.S and leaving and my mother and my baby was the greatest decision for me. It was a sacrifice I had to bear with. But I did not regret. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Learning to be a full time house wife, for the first time was indeed a wonderful experience.
My two girls were wonderful too. They did not give me much problem. I would drop them at school at 9.00 o’clock in the morning and pick them up at 3.00 o’clock. In between I had all the time to myself.

My husband was not fussy about food so I can cook at my own whim and fancies and he would never complaint. I join the International women’s club and took up a few hobbies. I sew all my children’s clothes and enjoyed window shopping.

I would write to my mother quite regularly and sent her money. After exchanging into Malaysian Ringgit, she had about RM.1000.00 a month. It was a lot in those days and she was very thrifty. With the money she was able to pay for my daughters’ expense, herself and my two adopted children who was helping her. She even managed to buy a few pieces of jewelries for my baby.

Moving house

When my husband was teaching in the University, all of us moved to Kuala Lumpur. The university had many staff quarters in and around Kuala Lumpur. Before we were offered to stay in the quarters we rented a small house. It was the old section of Petaling Jaya, Selangor. It was one-storey bungalow with three small bedrooms. The first university quarters we moved was in Lorong Jambatan, near Taman Seputeh. After that we were offered another University quarters in Section 16, which is just a walking distance to the University.Then it was Section17 in Petaling Jaya.

The house in section 17 was the best. It was a big very bungalow with seven bedrooms, all with bathroom attached. I consider this house as my favorite because it was very big and I could accommodate all my relatives who came to visit us. My uncle was so impressed with the house and the many bathrooms that he told me that “he does not have enough stools to pass into the toilet bowls”.

I wondered what he would have said if he had visited our big government quarters in Johor Bharu, in Jalan Straits View. It was situated on top of the hill with one acre of compound facing the Straits of Johor. Too bad he had no opportunity to visit us because we were there for a short time only.

I left Kota Bharu, my home town, more than thirty years. By then I had another three children, all boys.

All my children are now grown up. Five of them already married and had families of their own. My youngest is still studying.

Moving Back to Kota Bharu

I only came back to Kota Bharu, in November, l998. That was ten years after my mother died and two years after my husband died in l996.

Coming back to Kota Bharu, was another big decision in my life. I would have stayed back in Kuala Lumpur with my youngest son, had my eldest daughter and her children not moved back to Kota Bharu earlier that year. I missed them so much especially my grand-daughter Tengku Diyana, who was very close to me.

Kota Bharu is not the same. It is like we are living in Middle East or Iran in particular. There are separate counters for men and women in the supermarket. All the women wear the head covers. Some of them wore black veils like the Arabs. Even the children wear the Julbab or head gear that covers the hair. Even the bill boards were different. All the women models in the advertisements wore head covers. They must be adhering to the state government’s ruling. It is so funny to see Maya Karin wearing the tudung. On top of that no shops are allowed to operate during Friday prayers. Hey, are we in Mecca? Are we turning Kelantan into an Arab country? Before long I think all the women will not be allowed to do their business in the market, like Pasar Siti Khadijah. They should be left at home to obey their husbands’ command.

Already the women are not allowed to participate in the Koran Reading competition or the Tilawah Al-Quran. What a shame. Women’s voice cannot be considered as Aurat because I have read about the Prophet’s wife Aishah r.a talking in various Hadiths about what the prophet did and did not do during his time. How did she do it if she did not talk or communicate to the men. If a women’s voice is aurat, then how would women read the Quran. The Quran is meant to be listened and there are even various tunes or “Taranum” assigned to it like the Hijaz, Raf, Bayati, Nahwan, and others? Are the women excluded from all these? Are they not allowed to enjoy the beautiful sound of the Quran? People are supposed to convert to Islam just by listening to the Quran. If I am mistaken Umar ibn’l Khattab, the great Califh was one of them.He converted to Islam when he heard the Quran. That is the greatness of the Quran.

Where is our freedom? People look at me like an alien because I don’t adhere to their so called “dressing code”. I was told all the women who work with the state government will have to cover their heads, and not only that women are not supposed to wear the lipsticks, because their men cannot control their sex desires?

Plan your daily menu for a healthy living.

I have always been aware of the importance of health since I was young. I have “never taken my health for granted” because I believed that “Health is wealth” and “you are what you eat”. The latest trend is to “Eat what you are”. I will go into this later. But how do you maintain a good health.

What is health?

Unlike animals and plants we need a certain amount of food, clothing and shelter to survive in this ever changing world. Your body needs proper nutrients to grow and glow. Beside food, human being also requires other basic needs, such as love and companionships for our emotional, physical and spiritual development.

When you are young and strong, your body resistance is still strong. The antigens and antibodies in your system, helps you to regulate and control your heath system, including your emotional and spiritual well being. Thus you are not easily weakened by minor ailments such as colds and flu. It will usually go off after a few days rest. But as you age, your body resistance can no more take the slightest jerks; the bones become more brittle; your heart becomes weaker and the blood pressure rises alarmingly.

Food and health

With the advancement of food technology and the variety of food available to us today we are spoilt for choice. But how does our body react to all these good food that is being swallowed into our digestive systems? Will the amount of food we consumed has any influence on our health and optimal well being?

How do we make the right choice? Which food is best for us? Where do we go for advice? Are we eating correctly? Do we need to count calories every time we eat? These are some of the pertinent question that needs to be addressed as we are exposed to the all type of health risks. It is very depressing to know that as the medical knowledge progresses, more and more new diseases are discovered. More and more people suffer from all sorts of medical complications such as heart diseases, diabetics, liver and other ailments which were unheard off in the olden days.

Indeed every living thing needs the daily supply of food to survive and flourish.
Malaysia being multicultural and multi-racial her food choices are a fantastic spread of variety of taste and color.

Malaysia is indeed a food heaven. If you are in Sarawak you will fall in love with her Umai ( the raw fish mixed in asam kelubi or asam paya as the local called it).You go to an Indian Restaurant you will want to indulge yourself in their special banana leaf spreads. Not forgetting the various specially prepared rice dishes such as Nasi lemak, Nasi kerabu, Nasi dagang, Nasi berlauk, Nasi tumpang and all the other sweet desserts such as Jala emas, kueh kelompang, pelepat pisang and hundreds of other specialties from each of the 14 states in Malaysia.

The best part about all these food is that, one need not spend valuable time in the kitchen preparing them. They are easily available all year round in restaurants, market place, and hawker stalls near you. Not forgetting the various fast food restaurants mushrooming all around you.

Controlling your eating habit

We must now learn to control our eating habit. We should know what food is good for our body and what is not. The latest theory is that you should be eating food according to your blood type. This is an interesting discovery because at least everyone should be aware of their blood type.

A book on this subjects has been written by Peter J.D’Alamo,ND entitled “eat right for your type” and “the Answer is in your Blood type” by Steven M.Weissberg. explained what we should eat according to your blood type.

Dr.D’Alamo has classified “food into beneficial, neutral and avoid which are further classified into fifteen types of foods namely; meat, fish, oils, beans, cereals, breads, vegetables, fruits, juices, condiments .etc.”

For further readings please go to http;//www.innerself.com/health/eating _according_to_ancenstry.htm.

One interesting feature about these theories is you should eat according to your blood type which is amazing. I have never bothered about my blood type before. I know it is
type “O” but has never considered it as an important factor in my daily life.

I have been suffering from IBS for more than five years now. I discovered that I cannot take dairy products and had been avoiding cheese cakes (one of my favorite) and carbonated drinks because I will have stomach upset and had to run to the nearest toilet as soon as I consumed these food.

Now I know the reason better. These are the food are under Avoids for people with type “O” blood. But my favorite drink has always been coffee and tea. Now I am supposed to avoid them. Oh! My Gosh! Life is indeed becoming more difficult as you grow older. But I am so happy. It is still not too late to change. I hope?

I FELT SO BLESSED

A few days ago I was at Tengku Amir’s school when he sat for his UPSR exams. The night before he was making a last minute preparations for his science paper with me. He was very worried about it because during his trial exams he managed to get only a B in the subject. His mother was at the school the last two days, but she had to leave for Kuala Lumpur yesterday because of work commitment. So I replaced her to lend support for Ku Amir. Well, that was the least I could do. Maybe it will boost his confidence a little.

Tengku Amir is very intelligent and talks like an adult when he is not moody. He is only eleven years old but he is already sitting for his UPSR. He is very confident of himself. Despite his small size and made of skin and bones, he has already made up his mind to be a footballer. ‘I will represent Malaysia’, he said. He practices every evening with our neighbor’s children. He watched every live telecast of football matches over Astro (our local Satellite TV programs). He memorized all the team Players name and knew all their background and the number of scores for each team. His favorite team is of course Barcelona of Spain. His favourite player is Ronaldinho. He wears the Teams’ T-shirt whenever he practices football with his friends. I pray that one day he will achieve his dreams.

Last year his elder sister, Tengku Diyana Puteri, sat for her UPSR and she scored all A’s and Ku Amir is making sure that he will get 5A’ too. I am sure he is going to get his way judging from the way he emerged from the exams hall beaming from ear to ear. However, that is my Ku Amir, always confident of himself, sometimes overconfident.

When I was at the school, I noticed a few parents were also there to lend support to their children. A few parents were enjoying breakfast in the school canteen, while another group was at the school ‘surau’, praying, or reading the Quran quietly at the corner praying for Allah’s blessings.

I was the only grandmother there. Everybody was commenting how strong I look and how lucky for Ku Amir to have a strong grandmother. I felt so blessed.

Yes. I am still strong and healthy. I have always been a health freak. Never taking my health for granted. I was always looking for ways to stay young, slim and healthy. So far I have managed to maintain my 48.5 kg weight for as long as I remember- just great for my 5.2 ft frame.

I kept my figure the way I was 40 years ago. All my friend said so. I maintained my figure because I was always reminded by my grandmother ‘never take your food unless you tie your waist before eating and do not drinks until you have finished your food’. I was also a dancer in my younger days and I used to enjoy going to the Gym during my free time.

I could still slipped into my old clothes whenever I felt the urge to do so. The only problem is my hair. White strands of hair seemed to be cropping up in many places over my crown. Not much, but enough to make me felt old and unattractive. This is something that nature is telling me that age is catching up. But I still love my body. It is the best gift God has given me besides my six lovely children and all my eleven grandchildren. They are my greatest assets.

So I have discovered a new trick. I dyed my hair every two or three months. My friends think that I am a freak. They were saying that I am already old and should accept my look as it is. I should also dress my age. You know in the loose baju kurung or the baju kebaya, our national costumes. Or course! I am proud of my national costumes. But why should I be a follower? Why should I listen to my friends who are so old fashion and had bodies like a gunny-sacks?
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I have nothing to hide. I still have a great figure. I still looked smashing in my figure-hugging baju kebaya and elegant in my baju kurung. But they are too baggy and restricted my movements. The other day I tripped on my sarong and fell on the concrete slab in front of my neighbors’ house. I was lucky, not many people saw me. I got up with a minor scratch on my knee. I had trouble performing my prayer. I t hurts every time I bend my knee.

I am more confident in my pants and short blouses. They gave me freedom of movement, besides I think I looked more like an executive than a kampong makchik. I DO NOT WANT TO BE CONSIDERED like an ordinary women in the street. Why should I dress like everybody else? In Kelantan, for that matter, everyone in the street dress similar. There is no distinction between the old and the young. The only difference is their body shape. The young is slim and pretty, while the old shows their bulge and spare tyres everywhere. They allow their fats and muscle to protrude in the wrong places

I hate to see women who allowed their figure to bloat like balloons after marriage. It is so unbecoming to see women riding pillion on motorcycles with their husbands- their back looking like bags of potatoes.

Power,Influence and Position in Society

Today I am going to be a little bit academic in my ‘coretan rasa’. I will be writing about ‘Power’.

Physically ‘power’ means strength. Technically ‘power’ means the rate of which work done or the energy transmitted. Mathematically ‘power’ means the product obtained when a number is multiplied by itself a certain number of times. Administratively and politically, ‘power’ means person or persons having the ability to control or influence others to listen and act according to their whims and fancies.

Sociologist Max Weber described ’power’ as the probability that one actor within a social relationship will be in a position to carry out his own will despite resistance, regardless of the basis on which this probability rests’.

As a conclusion, ‘power’ (achieved or ascribed) will have great influence over others in that society. They can make people work for them at their every beck and calls and nobody dared to resist their commands. To those under their command it is ‘your wish is my command, Sir!’

Early last month, my eleven-year old granddaughter, had been rehearsing for her Coral speaking-contest, due in the middle of next month. Before that, she was also rehearsing her Public speaking content and I was helping her, and I can sense her delightedness and looking forward to these two events. These two events will enable her to earn certificates when she leave school at the end of the year. She is in year six and will be sitting for her UPSR in September this year. This is her final year in primary school. With good results, she will be able to go to a school of her choice when she goes to secondary school.

But last week she told me she had to forgo her public speaking contest. Another classmate is replacing her. No! there was nothing wrong with my granddaughter! Her notes were in order, and her teacher had been coaching her and she had been practicing a few times after school.

She told me, she had to make way for this girl, as she is the daughter of an influential figure in the education department here and his daughter had been crying and wanted the teacher to choose her, instead of my granddaughter. My granddaughter and this girl had a good command of English.

I understand that the school can only enter only one contestant. I was also told that initially the girl was first given the honour but she had refused, so my granddaughter was taken to replace her. But now she had changed her mind and wanted to take part again. In order to please this girl, the teacher had advised my granddaughter to give up her chance and allow this girl to take part instead. This had caused a lot of stress and dissatisfaction to my granddaughter who has been looking forward to it.

This week she was very moody and refused to go for her extra classes organized by the school. It took me a lot of persuasion before she agreed to go to her extra classes. Her reason was, she hated to see the girl who had caused her to give up her chance of taking part in the contest.

To make matters worse, the girl is one of her best friend. My concern here is, what was the criteria for choosing her in the first place? Is the teacher practicing meritocracy or favoritism? Children are very sensitive and cannot easily accept changes, especially when it involves taking away something already given to them earlier.

Teachers should be more professional in dealing with such situation. They should stick to their decision and not make hasty changes to please one person at the expense of hurting another. Teachers should not bow to pressure from people above and the people above should not use their position to justify their means.