stubburn parents

I have lost my five lovely grandchildren because of two stubburn parents.

I am blaming myself for everything that happened to my grandchildren. Let me clear the air. Maybe I am part to be blamed for all these.

I love my children so much that I tend to be very over protective. I shield them with my wings and would never allow anything to hurt them. Even when they were young I used to fight with the father whenever he wanted to decipline them.

I would defend them at all costs and would never allow the father to even utter any unkind words to them what more to hit them(not that he wanted to hit them,they were wonderful children).

I could never blame my children for their wrongdoings. They are the greatest love of my life and I always consider that I and only me can decipline them.This sometimes irritates my husband who loves his children as much as I do.

Now I am facing a very acute problem. I love my five grandchildren more than my life, especially my eldest daughter's children cos I have been staying and looking after this five grandchildren all their life.I want to protect them with all my heart. So when the father took them away when the parents were divorced I cried and cried and life is not the same anymore.

I hated the husband's drinking problem because I was so scared whenever he came back in the wee hours of the morning drunk and shouting and waking up the children.

I do not really know the cause of his drinking problem. My daughter wanted him to quit drinking but he refused. It was his ego and my daughter refused to accept his drinking habit which I was told is not such a big deal to his family. To them drinking is a pleasure and they never make a big fuss ot it. But to us drinking is totally unacceptable and intolerable. We were brought up that way.

To them drinking can solve problems. He started drinking when his mother died. He felt he is being cheated by the sister. He should be getting a bigger share of his the mother's estates because he being the son. He is entitled more than the girls. He was very unhappy after that and started drinking. He kept drinking to solve his problem. He went drinking when his two cows died.He drinks when he cannot get sex from his wife. He drinks when he is depressed.

My daughter tried to stop him from drinking, but the more she tried the worse he gets. It was his EGO and my daughters EGO. Both of them want to have the last say.

Finally she filed for divorce and he moved out of the house bringing all their five children with him.

I have always devoted myself to the children and took good care of them since I am staying next door with them. Now I have lost them all.

The children became the victim of the parental ego. They do not have a propper place to go whenever their father got drunk. He would not allow to children to come back to the house. Their is a tug-of-war going on and the childlren is entanggled-in-between. It breaks my heart to see the children. They are so unsettled and confused.

They are neither here not there. The love me too. I wished they would settled their differences by getting back together again for the sake of the children. I am just hoping and praying that he willl come back to the house and she will accept him again just for the children. I HOPE THEY WILL REMARRY AGAIN AND THE CHILDREN WILL HAVE ALL OF US AGAIN.