Today is the passing of my grandfathers' last wife. I have already mentioned her in my episode 'In loving memory of my grandfather'. She had died in her sleep at a ripe old age of almost ninety. 'May her soul rest in peace'.
I have known this women for a very long time. She was always quiet and hardly do anything in the house.I remember her as the woman who would always be sitting by the front door looking out into the street. She hardly cook, other than just boiling her own rice and cooking her own 'ikan rebus' and eating it quietly in the kitchen.
She also hardly leave the house, except to visit her family in Gunung, a kampung about 45 minutes bus rides. She would take a bus in the morning and will usually come back after spending a few nights there. Other than that I don't remember her going anywhere.
She hardly ever participate in any of our daily activities. She was also a woman of few words. She also never took the initiative to learn new things. I remember one day grandfather was so anxious to teach her to sew on our sewing machine. My grandfather sort- of -drag her to the machine, put her foot on the pedal and asked her to push the pedal. We waited for her to push the pedal, but she would not do it. So, that was the first and the last time I saw my grandfather trying to teach her to learn anything.
When she gave birth to my auntie, she hardly took care of the baby.The baby was left entirely to us i.e my mother and me. I was only nine years old then, but she would trust me with the baby (my auntie). I would bathe the baby and dress her and my mother will feed the baby.
My mother practically became the mother and me her assistant. Now that she was gone, I would still remember how much she look up to me and I was always there for her when she needed me most.
This happen when I performed my Haj in the eighties. She went with another group and I went with another group, but by the will of Allah, I met her there. I could see how thrilled she was to see me. After meeting me she refused to join her group and wanted to join me instead. She was with her nephew then. But we tried to be with her as much as we can so as not to dissapoint her. After prayer I would bring her food and spent some time with her everyday throughout our stay inMecca. She was so happy.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
why do I keep forgetting where I put my things
I admit I am forgetful because I am getting old. I am beginning to feel tired and frustrated when I cannot find my things though I rememer keeping them at that particular place.
When I put things I expect it to be there when I look for it the next time. I remember buying all my office needs like erasers, ballpens, scissors, puncher and staplers. I keep it in my drawers in my office for my own use.
But it happen everytime.When I want to use it....it is not there anymore. Why......why?I hate this. I keep looking and looking and looking. But it is nowhere to be found. After looking for it for nearly half an hour to one hour...sometimes for several hours. I felt tired and had to rest in bed. My mind became blurry and I feel tired. Very tired and frustrated.
When I asked those around me, nobody knew about it. So where has it gone. These things have no legs to walk away or wings to fly. It cannot just dissappear into thin air. This is what is bothering me now. Why I am so angry at people whom I loved so much. Maybe I should learn to control my temper and just don't bother to look if I loose anything! em....
But I am angry again when I found my office being used without my permission. It is not that I don't like to share my office, but at least try to keep the place in order and tidy just I had left it. Do not meddle with my computer. I have lost many documents and programs this way, and I do not know how to recover it. My knowledge in computer is very limited so when it is lost I felt so frustrated and angry. Can you blame me for being so 'bengkeng'.
This week I cannot access into my Instant Messenger at Yahoo. I cannot chat with Azan anymore. It always happen when my grandchildren was allowed access into my office. I do not know what they did, but everytime I allowed them in ....whoooooooshhhh! everthing disappeared.
I have just spent more that two hundred bucks to install a router in the office so that nobody enter my room to use the streamyx. But again when I was in KL last week, my room is in a mess.
I know I love all my grandchildren but I am tired. I cannot stand this mess in the office and losing documents in the computer is very frustrating. Sorry! I am blaming Kuya, Kuyana and KuMikhail for the mess. But they are the apple of my eyes.
When I put things I expect it to be there when I look for it the next time. I remember buying all my office needs like erasers, ballpens, scissors, puncher and staplers. I keep it in my drawers in my office for my own use.
But it happen everytime.When I want to use it....it is not there anymore. Why......why?I hate this. I keep looking and looking and looking. But it is nowhere to be found. After looking for it for nearly half an hour to one hour...sometimes for several hours. I felt tired and had to rest in bed. My mind became blurry and I feel tired. Very tired and frustrated.
When I asked those around me, nobody knew about it. So where has it gone. These things have no legs to walk away or wings to fly. It cannot just dissappear into thin air. This is what is bothering me now. Why I am so angry at people whom I loved so much. Maybe I should learn to control my temper and just don't bother to look if I loose anything! em....
But I am angry again when I found my office being used without my permission. It is not that I don't like to share my office, but at least try to keep the place in order and tidy just I had left it. Do not meddle with my computer. I have lost many documents and programs this way, and I do not know how to recover it. My knowledge in computer is very limited so when it is lost I felt so frustrated and angry. Can you blame me for being so 'bengkeng'.
This week I cannot access into my Instant Messenger at Yahoo. I cannot chat with Azan anymore. It always happen when my grandchildren was allowed access into my office. I do not know what they did, but everytime I allowed them in ....whoooooooshhhh! everthing disappeared.
I have just spent more that two hundred bucks to install a router in the office so that nobody enter my room to use the streamyx. But again when I was in KL last week, my room is in a mess.
I know I love all my grandchildren but I am tired. I cannot stand this mess in the office and losing documents in the computer is very frustrating. Sorry! I am blaming Kuya, Kuyana and KuMikhail for the mess. But they are the apple of my eyes.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
The Wedding
Congratulations to both of you. It was a fantastic wedding. Everyone in the family chips in to make it a sucess. I felt so happy and elated at the professionalism displayed by all my children during the wedding. The reception at the Blue Wave Hotel in Shah Alam was really beautiful. You and Sufia look so perfect together. Ayis! I know you are a good son and will make a good husband for Sufia and you are a wonderful father to Ayin. I know Sufia will make you happy. She is so gentle with Ayin. Please make her happy. Do not spoil anything. Forget the past. Cherish the future together. Do not let your past spoil her happiness. A woman is very sensitive. She would not want to share you with anybody even for a few seconds. Remember that. 
As for me, I give you my full blessings as I have never before given you. You have given me a beautiful daughter -in-law, and from our home town too. This wedding bring back so much fond memories of your father. How he disciplined the children. The way he showered his love on you all. What he taught you and your brothers and sisters....they were all there that night. I am sure he was there too that night. I felt so blessed, that I am still here to see how my children grow from beautiful babies to successful adults.
Life and Times
In loving memory of my grandfather.
When I was little, my grand father used to tell me stories using poetic versus or “Syair”. I was very familiar with listening, singing and reciting beautiful verses from him. He will tell me stories of “Siti Zubaidah”, “Selindang Delima” and “Puteri Bunga Mawar”. They were all stories about beautiful princesses and handsome princes. I never grew tired of listening to them, because these stories always had a happy-ending. My grandfather would tell me, again and again, until these stories seemed to come alive and I could imagine how beautiful the princesses and the princes were.
My grandfather had a wonderful voice and I loved him very much. I would sit on his lap or sleep by his side, while he tells me stories. Sometimes he would sing praises to Allah and asked me to join him. We would sing together until I fell asleep.
We were such a close-knit-family. There would be between six and eight children in the house. The latest addition was when my uncle took another wife after his first wife died. The woman was from a kampong and was very young. She was only sixteen when she married my uncle who was already in his forties. After she married him, she also brought along her two sisters to stay with us. We would play, dance and sing together, especially when my uncle switched on his radio. We were all very scared of him though. We would not dare touch the radio.
Radio in those days was an exclusive item. Not many people could afford it then. My uncle also owned a Mini Minor. It was black in color. He would drive it to work. He was a civil servant and would only be home in the evening. We would eagerly wait for him to come home so that we can listen to the radio.
I do not recall anything very nice about my uncle, because he was not very friendly towards me. I do not know the reason, but he seemed to love his adopted daughter very much, and would bring back food for her, but always seemed to forget me. My uncle commands respect from the kampong people, because of his position in the government. He was the chief clerk in the District and Land office in my hometown. People with problem relating to land and property would usually come to see him. He would usually not entertain them.
My grandfather would normally see and deal with them. He was very friendly and would do his best to help them. I was told, it was during one this session that he met his fourth wife.
My grandfather was a very handsome man. He was married four times. But I only remembered three of his wives. He fathered eight children; one by his first wife, three by his second, three by his third and one by his fourth wife.
My grandmother was his second wife while his fourth wife stayed with us in my grandmother’s house. But as far as I know my grandmother was the first wife, because none of us remembered his first wife. But we knew that, he had another wife by the fact there is daughter from that marriage whom my mother referred to as ‘Kak Wan’ or elder sister. She came to the house quite often, because her grandchildren were schooling in our hometown and staying with us. She was not staying in this country then. She was staying across the Thai border and was already married to a Thai national when we knew her. But we used to visit her. She had one daughter and five grandchildren when I knew her.
My grandmother’s house is quite big. It could accommodate eleven of us quite easily at any one time. Apart from my grandfather, grandmother and his other wife, we also had other close relatives staying with us. This included my uncle; his wife and two children; two of my grandfather’s great grandchildren (the grandchildren of my auntie who was staying in Thailand) and of course my mother and me. We had great time in the house. Full of laughter and all of us were very close to each other.
My mother was a wonderful women and a great cook too. She looked after all of us. My mother loves all of us. She never complained.
Sometime my grandfather did not come home. He stayed at his other wife’s house nearby. I thought this woman was very strange. She wanted to kill my grandmother’s youngest wife. She used to come charging into the house, with a knife shouting abusive words at my grandfather’s young wife. At that time I did not understand why she was behaving like that. It was not until my husband took a second wife after being married to him for twenty-five years. Only then did I understand her feelings and the reason why she was behaving like that. Luckily nobody was hurt, killed or harmed by her action.
My grandfather died when my youngest auntie was only six years old. Then the house became quieter and quieter as the years went by. My uncle moved to his own house after he had his third child by his latest wife. Then as we grew older; one by one left the house.
I was the one who got married first. Then it was my cousin’s turn to get married. Then the rest of us had to leave the house after my grandmother died and my husband took a job outside the state. My mother followed me everywhere we go, as she had nobody else except me. I was her only child.My grandmother’s house remained standing, until it was demolished in 2005 to make way for a commercial development project
When I was little, my grand father used to tell me stories using poetic versus or “Syair”. I was very familiar with listening, singing and reciting beautiful verses from him. He will tell me stories of “Siti Zubaidah”, “Selindang Delima” and “Puteri Bunga Mawar”. They were all stories about beautiful princesses and handsome princes. I never grew tired of listening to them, because these stories always had a happy-ending. My grandfather would tell me, again and again, until these stories seemed to come alive and I could imagine how beautiful the princesses and the princes were.
My grandfather had a wonderful voice and I loved him very much. I would sit on his lap or sleep by his side, while he tells me stories. Sometimes he would sing praises to Allah and asked me to join him. We would sing together until I fell asleep.
We were such a close-knit-family. There would be between six and eight children in the house. The latest addition was when my uncle took another wife after his first wife died. The woman was from a kampong and was very young. She was only sixteen when she married my uncle who was already in his forties. After she married him, she also brought along her two sisters to stay with us. We would play, dance and sing together, especially when my uncle switched on his radio. We were all very scared of him though. We would not dare touch the radio.
Radio in those days was an exclusive item. Not many people could afford it then. My uncle also owned a Mini Minor. It was black in color. He would drive it to work. He was a civil servant and would only be home in the evening. We would eagerly wait for him to come home so that we can listen to the radio.
I do not recall anything very nice about my uncle, because he was not very friendly towards me. I do not know the reason, but he seemed to love his adopted daughter very much, and would bring back food for her, but always seemed to forget me. My uncle commands respect from the kampong people, because of his position in the government. He was the chief clerk in the District and Land office in my hometown. People with problem relating to land and property would usually come to see him. He would usually not entertain them.
My grandfather would normally see and deal with them. He was very friendly and would do his best to help them. I was told, it was during one this session that he met his fourth wife.
My grandfather was a very handsome man. He was married four times. But I only remembered three of his wives. He fathered eight children; one by his first wife, three by his second, three by his third and one by his fourth wife.
My grandmother was his second wife while his fourth wife stayed with us in my grandmother’s house. But as far as I know my grandmother was the first wife, because none of us remembered his first wife. But we knew that, he had another wife by the fact there is daughter from that marriage whom my mother referred to as ‘Kak Wan’ or elder sister. She came to the house quite often, because her grandchildren were schooling in our hometown and staying with us. She was not staying in this country then. She was staying across the Thai border and was already married to a Thai national when we knew her. But we used to visit her. She had one daughter and five grandchildren when I knew her.
My grandmother’s house is quite big. It could accommodate eleven of us quite easily at any one time. Apart from my grandfather, grandmother and his other wife, we also had other close relatives staying with us. This included my uncle; his wife and two children; two of my grandfather’s great grandchildren (the grandchildren of my auntie who was staying in Thailand) and of course my mother and me. We had great time in the house. Full of laughter and all of us were very close to each other.
My mother was a wonderful women and a great cook too. She looked after all of us. My mother loves all of us. She never complained.
Sometime my grandfather did not come home. He stayed at his other wife’s house nearby. I thought this woman was very strange. She wanted to kill my grandmother’s youngest wife. She used to come charging into the house, with a knife shouting abusive words at my grandfather’s young wife. At that time I did not understand why she was behaving like that. It was not until my husband took a second wife after being married to him for twenty-five years. Only then did I understand her feelings and the reason why she was behaving like that. Luckily nobody was hurt, killed or harmed by her action.
My grandfather died when my youngest auntie was only six years old. Then the house became quieter and quieter as the years went by. My uncle moved to his own house after he had his third child by his latest wife. Then as we grew older; one by one left the house.
I was the one who got married first. Then it was my cousin’s turn to get married. Then the rest of us had to leave the house after my grandmother died and my husband took a job outside the state. My mother followed me everywhere we go, as she had nobody else except me. I was her only child.My grandmother’s house remained standing, until it was demolished in 2005 to make way for a commercial development project
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