PATRIOTISM AND LOYALTYToday I felt a little guilty or apprehensive about not having any feeling of patriotism and loyalty towards my own birth place, Kelantan?. I must admit that I do not have any respect to the political leaders, or the state administrators.
It is not that I have not tried. I have even been thinking about the possibility of producing a book on Kelantan. About its people, its culture, places of interest and things like that. But words do not seem to flow when I see so many contradictory practices imposed by the state government on her people, especially her women. For that matter, I am not even an emancipated woman.
Kelantan is where I was born, educated, worked and got married.
My family and I only started moving away from Kelantan in l967 when we moved to Johor, the most southern state of Peninsular Malaysia. Moving to Johor was the first stint outside the state of Kelantan. I was very excited because we were moving near to Singapore, my shopping paradise. But sad to say, we were there only for a couple of months before we were moving again.
Before leaving for Johor in l967, I was working in the District Office, Kota Bharu for about seven years. I got myself transferred to Johor Bahru, the state capital to be with my husband who was posted to Johor Bahru. My husband the Johor scholarship holder
He was on a Johor state Scholarship when he went to study for his first degree at the age of age of 28. He was already married with two children. Another child was born when he was in the University. He graduated with a Bachelor of law degree (L.L.B) from the University of Singapore.
Within the same year we packed our bags to go to the United States of America. My husband was offered a “Ford Foundation scholarship” to pursue his post graduate studies in Public Administration, at the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We came back to Malaysia about a month before the political unrest of May 13th 1969.My husband was later employed by the University of Malaya, Faculty of Economic and Public Administration as a lecturer where he teaches Public administration, Constitutional law and Land law.
Before going to the United States, the furthest I have ever traveled was to Singapore where my husband was studying. Of course I have been to Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Hadyaii and Sungai Golok before. But going to the U.S was beyond my wildest dream and the most exciting event in my life, but I also have to make a big decision of my life. I am talking about my mother and my little baby girl.
I was an only child
I was brought up as an only child and my mother was a single parent. I was spoilt rotten. I was never asked to do any house work nor have I ever offered to help her, but she never complained. I was treated like a Duchess.
I was very close to her. We were practically inseparable. When we moved to Johor, she came to live with us. She was everything to me. I have never done anything without her consent, permission or approval. She was always there for me. Leaving her was unthinkable at that time. But the prospect of going to U.S supersedes everything.
I was initially very sad to leave my doting mother and my baby girl ‘Chik’ whose full name is Nik Adura Zuliani. She was only nine months old then.
It was in l967 and I had been married for about seven years and already had three beautiful daughters. My first daughter ‘Lin’ whose full name is Nik Elin Zurina was six and the second girl ‘Nun’ full name Nik Ainun Zanariah ,was only five years old.
But then I had to make a choice. I think that was of the most difficult choice I have ever made in my life. I was only twenty eight years old then.
I felt so sad to leave my mother and my youngest child. It almost broke my heart. I wanted my mother to come along, but she was not keen to travel to the other side of the world. She was afraid she might die there “and it might be difficult” she told me.
I was a great fan of Hollywood Movies
I was very sad to leave her and the baby. But I did not have much choice. It is between mother and husband and the opportunity to travel overseas especially to U.S. A place I have always dreamed of, as I was a great fan of Hollywood movies in my younger days.
I was a great fan of Hollywood movie stars and was very passionate about Doris Day, Susan Hayward,Ester Williams, Elaine Stewart, Roy Rogers, Rock Hudson and John Derek. I also like Jerry Lewis the Comedian.
I even name my eldest daughter Elin after Elaine Stewart, my favorite movie star. I would have named her Elaine but that was too Western. My husband might not like that. I love Elaine Stewarts’ nose and hair. She was very beautiful.
Going to U.S was like a dream come true. I wanted to bring all the children with me but my mother insisted that she wanted me to leave my baby with her. ”You would not be able to take care of all three kids by yourself” she insisted.
I cannot deny that, all my children were closer to her than to me because I was always busy with my work. When my children were small I was holding three jobs at one time. She had her hands full looking after them.
I was working as a clerk with the District Office from 8.00a.m to 4.30 p.m. Then I would rush up to Radio Malaya, Wakaf Che Yeh where I worked as a part-time announcer ( I think now they call it Radio DJ) until about six in the evening, then in the evening around eight o’clock I will be in Kedai Mulung where I teach adult education to a group of village elders.
I was doing this until my husband graduated from the University. I was young and energetic and I was in high demand in those days. I could choose to work anywhere and anytime. I was also enjoying my popularity. It was wonderful to be recognized wherever you go.
Leaving mother and daughter and life in the U.S in the sixties
Leaving Kelantan to go to the U.S and leaving and my mother and my baby was the greatest decision for me. It was a sacrifice I had to bear with. But I did not regret. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Learning to be a full time house wife, for the first time was indeed a wonderful experience.
My two girls were wonderful too. They did not give me much problem. I would drop them at school at 9.00 o’clock in the morning and pick them up at 3.00 o’clock. In between I had all the time to myself.
My husband was not fussy about food so I can cook at my own whim and fancies and he would never complaint. I join the International women’s club and took up a few hobbies. I sew all my children’s clothes and enjoyed window shopping.
I would write to my mother quite regularly and sent her money. After exchanging into Malaysian Ringgit, she had about RM.1000.00 a month. It was a lot in those days and she was very thrifty. With the money she was able to pay for my daughters’ expense, herself and my two adopted children who was helping her. She even managed to buy a few pieces of jewelries for my baby.
Moving house
When my husband was teaching in the University, all of us moved to Kuala Lumpur. The university had many staff quarters in and around Kuala Lumpur. Before we were offered to stay in the quarters we rented a small house. It was the old section of Petaling Jaya, Selangor. It was one-storey bungalow with three small bedrooms. The first university quarters we moved was in Lorong Jambatan, near Taman Seputeh. After that we were offered another University quarters in Section 16, which is just a walking distance to the University.Then it was Section17 in Petaling Jaya.
The house in section 17 was the best. It was a big very bungalow with seven bedrooms, all with bathroom attached. I consider this house as my favorite because it was very big and I could accommodate all my relatives who came to visit us. My uncle was so impressed with the house and the many bathrooms that he told me that “he does not have enough stools to pass into the toilet bowls”.
I wondered what he would have said if he had visited our big government quarters in Johor Bharu, in Jalan Straits View. It was situated on top of the hill with one acre of compound facing the Straits of Johor. Too bad he had no opportunity to visit us because we were there for a short time only.
I left Kota Bharu, my home town, more than thirty years. By then I had another three children, all boys.
All my children are now grown up. Five of them already married and had families of their own. My youngest is still studying.
Moving Back to Kota Bharu
I only came back to Kota Bharu, in November, l998. That was ten years after my mother died and two years after my husband died in l996.
Coming back to Kota Bharu, was another big decision in my life. I would have stayed back in Kuala Lumpur with my youngest son, had my eldest daughter and her children not moved back to Kota Bharu earlier that year. I missed them so much especially my grand-daughter Tengku Diyana, who was very close to me.
Kota Bharu is not the same. It is like we are living in Middle East or Iran in particular. There are separate counters for men and women in the supermarket. All the women wear the head covers. Some of them wore black veils like the Arabs. Even the children wear the Julbab or head gear that covers the hair. Even the bill boards were different. All the women models in the advertisements wore head covers. They must be adhering to the state government’s ruling. It is so funny to see Maya Karin wearing the tudung. On top of that no shops are allowed to operate during Friday prayers. Hey, are we in Mecca? Are we turning Kelantan into an Arab country? Before long I think all the women will not be allowed to do their business in the market, like Pasar Siti Khadijah. They should be left at home to obey their husbands’ command.
Already the women are not allowed to participate in the Koran Reading competition or the Tilawah Al-Quran. What a shame. Women’s voice cannot be considered as Aurat because I have read about the Prophet’s wife Aishah r.a talking in various Hadiths about what the prophet did and did not do during his time. How did she do it if she did not talk or communicate to the men. If a women’s voice is aurat, then how would women read the Quran. The Quran is meant to be listened and there are even various tunes or “Taranum” assigned to it like the Hijaz, Raf, Bayati, Nahwan, and others? Are the women excluded from all these? Are they not allowed to enjoy the beautiful sound of the Quran? People are supposed to convert to Islam just by listening to the Quran. If I am mistaken Umar ibn’l Khattab, the great Califh was one of them.He converted to Islam when he heard the Quran. That is the greatness of the Quran.
Where is our freedom? People look at me like an alien because I don’t adhere to their so called “dressing code”. I was told all the women who work with the state government will have to cover their heads, and not only that women are not supposed to wear the lipsticks, because their men cannot control their sex desires?
