Power,Influence and Position in Society

Today I am going to be a little bit academic in my ‘coretan rasa’. I will be writing about ‘Power’.

Physically ‘power’ means strength. Technically ‘power’ means the rate of which work done or the energy transmitted. Mathematically ‘power’ means the product obtained when a number is multiplied by itself a certain number of times. Administratively and politically, ‘power’ means person or persons having the ability to control or influence others to listen and act according to their whims and fancies.

Sociologist Max Weber described ’power’ as the probability that one actor within a social relationship will be in a position to carry out his own will despite resistance, regardless of the basis on which this probability rests’.

As a conclusion, ‘power’ (achieved or ascribed) will have great influence over others in that society. They can make people work for them at their every beck and calls and nobody dared to resist their commands. To those under their command it is ‘your wish is my command, Sir!’

Early last month, my eleven-year old granddaughter, had been rehearsing for her Coral speaking-contest, due in the middle of next month. Before that, she was also rehearsing her Public speaking content and I was helping her, and I can sense her delightedness and looking forward to these two events. These two events will enable her to earn certificates when she leave school at the end of the year. She is in year six and will be sitting for her UPSR in September this year. This is her final year in primary school. With good results, she will be able to go to a school of her choice when she goes to secondary school.

But last week she told me she had to forgo her public speaking contest. Another classmate is replacing her. No! there was nothing wrong with my granddaughter! Her notes were in order, and her teacher had been coaching her and she had been practicing a few times after school.

She told me, she had to make way for this girl, as she is the daughter of an influential figure in the education department here and his daughter had been crying and wanted the teacher to choose her, instead of my granddaughter. My granddaughter and this girl had a good command of English.

I understand that the school can only enter only one contestant. I was also told that initially the girl was first given the honour but she had refused, so my granddaughter was taken to replace her. But now she had changed her mind and wanted to take part again. In order to please this girl, the teacher had advised my granddaughter to give up her chance and allow this girl to take part instead. This had caused a lot of stress and dissatisfaction to my granddaughter who has been looking forward to it.

This week she was very moody and refused to go for her extra classes organized by the school. It took me a lot of persuasion before she agreed to go to her extra classes. Her reason was, she hated to see the girl who had caused her to give up her chance of taking part in the contest.

To make matters worse, the girl is one of her best friend. My concern here is, what was the criteria for choosing her in the first place? Is the teacher practicing meritocracy or favoritism? Children are very sensitive and cannot easily accept changes, especially when it involves taking away something already given to them earlier.

Teachers should be more professional in dealing with such situation. They should stick to their decision and not make hasty changes to please one person at the expense of hurting another. Teachers should not bow to pressure from people above and the people above should not use their position to justify their means.

The passing of grandfathers' youngest wife.

Today is the passing of my grandfathers' last wife. I have already mentioned her in my episode 'In loving memory of my grandfather'. She had died in her sleep at a ripe old age of almost ninety. 'May her soul rest in peace'.

I have known this women for a very long time. She was always quiet and hardly do anything in the house.I remember her as the woman who would always be sitting by the front door looking out into the street. She hardly cook, other than just boiling her own rice and cooking her own 'ikan rebus' and eating it quietly in the kitchen.

She also hardly leave the house, except to visit her family in Gunung, a kampung about 45 minutes bus rides. She would take a bus in the morning and will usually come back after spending a few nights there. Other than that I don't remember her going anywhere.

She hardly ever participate in any of our daily activities. She was also a woman of few words. She also never took the initiative to learn new things. I remember one day grandfather was so anxious to teach her to sew on our sewing machine. My grandfather sort- of -drag her to the machine, put her foot on the pedal and asked her to push the pedal. We waited for her to push the pedal, but she would not do it. So, that was the first and the last time I saw my grandfather trying to teach her to learn anything.

When she gave birth to my auntie, she hardly took care of the baby.The baby was left entirely to us i.e my mother and me. I was only nine years old then, but she would trust me with the baby (my auntie). I would bathe the baby and dress her and my mother will feed the baby.

My mother practically became the mother and me her assistant. Now that she was gone, I would still remember how much she look up to me and I was always there for her when she needed me most.

This happen when I performed my Haj in the eighties. She went with another group and I went with another group, but by the will of Allah, I met her there. I could see how thrilled she was to see me. After meeting me she refused to join her group and wanted to join me instead. She was with her nephew then. But we tried to be with her as much as we can so as not to dissapoint her. After prayer I would bring her food and spent some time with her everyday throughout our stay inMecca. She was so happy.

why do I keep forgetting where I put my things

I admit I am forgetful because I am getting old. I am beginning to feel tired and frustrated when I cannot find my things though I rememer keeping them at that particular place.

When I put things I expect it to be there when I look for it the next time. I remember buying all my office needs like erasers, ballpens, scissors, puncher and staplers. I keep it in my drawers in my office for my own use.

But it happen everytime.When I want to use it....it is not there anymore. Why......why?I hate this. I keep looking and looking and looking. But it is nowhere to be found. After looking for it for nearly half an hour to one hour...sometimes for several hours. I felt tired and had to rest in bed. My mind became blurry and I feel tired. Very tired and frustrated.

When I asked those around me, nobody knew about it. So where has it gone. These things have no legs to walk away or wings to fly. It cannot just dissappear into thin air. This is what is bothering me now. Why I am so angry at people whom I loved so much. Maybe I should learn to control my temper and just don't bother to look if I loose anything! em....

But I am angry again when I found my office being used without my permission. It is not that I don't like to share my office, but at least try to keep the place in order and tidy just I had left it. Do not meddle with my computer. I have lost many documents and programs this way, and I do not know how to recover it. My knowledge in computer is very limited so when it is lost I felt so frustrated and angry. Can you blame me for being so 'bengkeng'.

This week I cannot access into my Instant Messenger at Yahoo. I cannot chat with Azan anymore. It always happen when my grandchildren was allowed access into my office. I do not know what they did, but everytime I allowed them in ....whoooooooshhhh! everthing disappeared.

I have just spent more that two hundred bucks to install a router in the office so that nobody enter my room to use the streamyx. But again when I was in KL last week, my room is in a mess.

I know I love all my grandchildren but I am tired. I cannot stand this mess in the office and losing documents in the computer is very frustrating. Sorry! I am blaming Kuya, Kuyana and KuMikhail for the mess. But they are the apple of my eyes.

The Wedding

Congratulations to both of you. It was a fantastic wedding. Everyone in the family chips in to make it a sucess. I felt so happy and elated at the professionalism displayed by all my children during the wedding. The reception at the Blue Wave Hotel in Shah Alam was really beautiful. You and Sufia look so perfect together. Ayis! I know you are a good son and will make a good husband for Sufia and you are a wonderful father to Ayin. I know Sufia will make you happy. She is so gentle with Ayin. Please make her happy. Do not spoil anything. Forget the past. Cherish the future together. Do not let your past spoil her happiness. A woman is very sensitive. She would not want to share you with anybody even for a few seconds. Remember that.

As for me, I give you my full blessings as I have never before given you. You have given me a beautiful daughter -in-law, and from our home town too. This wedding bring back so much fond memories of your father. How he disciplined the children. The way he showered his love on you all. What he taught you and your brothers and sisters....they were all there that night. I am sure he was there too that night. I felt so blessed, that I am still here to see how my children grow from beautiful babies to successful adults.

Life and Times

In loving memory of my grandfather.

When I was little, my grand father used to tell me stories using poetic versus or “Syair”. I was very familiar with listening, singing and reciting beautiful verses from him. He will tell me stories of “Siti Zubaidah”, “Selindang Delima” and “Puteri Bunga Mawar”. They were all stories about beautiful princesses and handsome princes. I never grew tired of listening to them, because these stories always had a happy-ending. My grandfather would tell me, again and again, until these stories seemed to come alive and I could imagine how beautiful the princesses and the princes were.

My grandfather had a wonderful voice and I loved him very much. I would sit on his lap or sleep by his side, while he tells me stories. Sometimes he would sing praises to Allah and asked me to join him. We would sing together until I fell asleep.

We were such a close-knit-family. There would be between six and eight children in the house. The latest addition was when my uncle took another wife after his first wife died. The woman was from a kampong and was very young. She was only sixteen when she married my uncle who was already in his forties. After she married him, she also brought along her two sisters to stay with us. We would play, dance and sing together, especially when my uncle switched on his radio. We were all very scared of him though. We would not dare touch the radio.

Radio in those days was an exclusive item. Not many people could afford it then. My uncle also owned a Mini Minor. It was black in color. He would drive it to work. He was a civil servant and would only be home in the evening. We would eagerly wait for him to come home so that we can listen to the radio.

I do not recall anything very nice about my uncle, because he was not very friendly towards me. I do not know the reason, but he seemed to love his adopted daughter very much, and would bring back food for her, but always seemed to forget me. My uncle commands respect from the kampong people, because of his position in the government. He was the chief clerk in the District and Land office in my hometown. People with problem relating to land and property would usually come to see him. He would usually not entertain them.

My grandfather would normally see and deal with them. He was very friendly and would do his best to help them. I was told, it was during one this session that he met his fourth wife.
My grandfather was a very handsome man. He was married four times. But I only remembered three of his wives. He fathered eight children; one by his first wife, three by his second, three by his third and one by his fourth wife.

My grandmother was his second wife while his fourth wife stayed with us in my grandmother’s house. But as far as I know my grandmother was the first wife, because none of us remembered his first wife. But we knew that, he had another wife by the fact there is daughter from that marriage whom my mother referred to as ‘Kak Wan’ or elder sister. She came to the house quite often, because her grandchildren were schooling in our hometown and staying with us. She was not staying in this country then. She was staying across the Thai border and was already married to a Thai national when we knew her. But we used to visit her. She had one daughter and five grandchildren when I knew her.

My grandmother’s house is quite big. It could accommodate eleven of us quite easily at any one time. Apart from my grandfather, grandmother and his other wife, we also had other close relatives staying with us. This included my uncle; his wife and two children; two of my grandfather’s great grandchildren (the grandchildren of my auntie who was staying in Thailand) and of course my mother and me. We had great time in the house. Full of laughter and all of us were very close to each other.

My mother was a wonderful women and a great cook too. She looked after all of us. My mother loves all of us. She never complained.

Sometime my grandfather did not come home. He stayed at his other wife’s house nearby. I thought this woman was very strange. She wanted to kill my grandmother’s youngest wife. She used to come charging into the house, with a knife shouting abusive words at my grandfather’s young wife. At that time I did not understand why she was behaving like that. It was not until my husband took a second wife after being married to him for twenty-five years. Only then did I understand her feelings and the reason why she was behaving like that. Luckily nobody was hurt, killed or harmed by her action.

My grandfather died when my youngest auntie was only six years old. Then the house became quieter and quieter as the years went by. My uncle moved to his own house after he had his third child by his latest wife. Then as we grew older; one by one left the house.

I was the one who got married first. Then it was my cousin’s turn to get married. Then the rest of us had to leave the house after my grandmother died and my husband took a job outside the state. My mother followed me everywhere we go, as she had nobody else except me. I was her only child.My grandmother’s house remained standing, until it was demolished in 2005 to make way for a commercial development project

snatch thief

Snatch thief

Snatch thief can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. It can happen to young and old; outside your own house; inside your car; in train; in buses, or in busy streets or in lonely places. It can happen in bright daylight or worse in dimly lit areas.

Due to the nature of their modes operandi, there is nothing much one can do, except to try to minimize our losses, if it happens to you.

These culprits usually work in pairs. Usually they are either on motorbikes or pretending to ask for direction, just to distract your attention.

They are very fast with their actions and in split seconds, all your important documents will change hands and the victims will be too shock to react.

It happened to me a few days ago. I was sitting alone in my car. I had just got into the car, when suddenly I saw a hand opening my car door and snatching my handbags which was placed in between the driver’s seat and the front passenger seat. It happen so fast, I was so stunt to react.

In the incident, I lost all my documents such as my new Mykad, driving license, pension card, two ATM cards, two credit cards, three Passbooks, a bunch of house keys and of course my money and my new handbag and my wallet.

After a few seconds I gathered my composure and tried to run after the culprits. But they were too fast for me.

There is nothing much one can do to stop this crime. But the lesson I learned from this experience is, never keep all your important documents in one place. Keep your document in separate places so that when it happens, you do not have to loose everything at the same time.

This will save you time and money having to have everything replaced.

Be prepared and be alert whenever you are alone. Before you alight from your car, make sure to look left and right and do not trust innocent-looking young men who came asking for directions. They are after your handbags, or your expensive looking jewelries.

Everything happen for a reason

Life always have its ups and down. Everyday as we go through life, things happen. It can be good or it can be bad. But whatever it is, when it happens, it happens for a reason. Only we do not realize it. But if you ponder for while, we may find that all things happen for a reason.

When it rain, water falls to the ground. Why? The reason is because without water life cannot be sustained. Nothing in this planet can survive without water. So God gave us rain.

Why is it that the world turns on its orbit every twenty-four hours? The answer is to enable us to calculate the time.

Why does the sun, rises in the morning and sets in the evening? This is to give us day and night. Why is it that we have to have day and night? This is to enable us to rest and revitalize our energy so that we can work the next day.

There is an answer for every question. If you cannot find an answer to your question then, maybe you are not asking the right question.

In my life I have experienced more than once of either being cheated, fooled or tricked. But when it happens, I always find myself wiser and more tolerant of other people’s need. Of course when I was young I was easily hurt and failed to see the reasons why things happen. I cannot see the reason why my boyfriend jilted me. I was so hurt I wanted to die. Then when I grew older, I found that I have many more boy friends. They were much better than my first boyfriend.

Then I realized God wanted to give me a better person than my first boyfriend.

So, do not start blaming others or yourself if anything bad happen to you. There’s bound to be something good in store for you. Just relax and think back. If you are a religious person, go back to Him, seek his guidance and forgiveness. Maybe you have wronged Him and He is reminding you or protecting you from something worse that only He knows.

A few days ago, my handbags with all my important documents were snatched as I was talking on the phone. I had placed my handbags on the hand-rest, between the two front seat of my car. Suddenly I saw for brief seconds a hand opening my car door and snatching my handbags. It happened so fast. I could not do anything. As I was on the phone, I just shouted into the phone. After a brief moment as I got down from the car which was not locked. I tried running after the two devils on the motorcycle, while shouting at them at the same time. But they were too fast for me. There goes my money, MyKad, pension card, credit cards, ATM cards, keys and everything.

Of course I was very upset and angry at the guys who robbed me, but I did not curse them or blame them for my misfortunes. Instead went back home to pray for God’s forgiveness, help and mercy and I also prayed for Allah to give mercy to those who robbed me. I hope that one day, they will realized their mistakes and perhaps turn a new lease of life. After all they are still young and healthy.

I started to count my blessings that I was unharmed. I have heard so much pain, these snatch thief has caused on some of their victims. Quite a few had died, hospitalized and suffered so much pain and some even suffered permanent damaged to their life and limbs. I thank Allah for that.

My Children are my passion

As I write this, my thoughts are with my youngest son who is studying in Ireland. He is in his second year in Cork University College, reading Medicine. I miss him a lot. I had him after an eleven year break and already in my fourties. He is the only one who is not married at the moment.

When my husband died of a heart attack in late 1996, he was the only one left at home. He was only twelve then. But I guessed he took things quite well and did not give me much problem.He was doing well in school. He was very obedient and very sweet. I could talk to him and he would always give me time to listen to my problems. It had been very hard for me to accept the fact that the best two persons of my life, that is my husband and my mother, are now gone forever. But my youngest son became my strength.

Both my husband and my mother left us very suddenly. My mother died due to Amphycilin. The medicine was prescribed to her by Dr.Nawi a private medical practitioner near our house in Kota Bharu. Apparently she was allergic to it. She succumbed to the poison after a week in hospital. We were all so devatated by the turn of event as we were all in Kuala Lumpur and was not with her when she took the medicine. It must have been fated that she had be there by herself towards the end of her life.

My mother has always been with me. We were very close. Me being an only child. She being a widow when she and my father were sepated when she was still carrying me. She did not remarry again until I was fifteen.

My mother and her new husband was very loving. But Alas! the marriege did not last long. My step-father died after two years of marriage. She never remarry again. My mother and I shared everything. I would never do anything without her approval. I would consult her on everything. Even now, even though she was gone more than 18 years, there are times when I think of her and longing to be near her. Listening to her cheerful laugh. I still miss her cooking. I still miss her advice. At time I still feel the need to consult her especially when the problem seems too big to solve alone.

What worries me now is that my son is not performing too well in his exams. I know he is an intelligent student and has been a top student at home.

Welcoming the New Year

Yesterday was 31st December,2005. It was the day I started to familiarize myself with this blog. It was my second daughter who introduced me to it when she started her own blog a few months ago. But I did not pay much attention to it then, other just reading her article which I found very interesting and quite refreshing.

The topic was brought up again yesterday,when her family came over to visit me in her brother's house.

As all my children are computer literates, their discussion usually revolves around sophisticated terminology. Sometime I found myself lost in their discussion and unable to comprehend what they are talking about. It is quitre frustrating at times, especially when I saw how nimble and agile their fingers are controlling the little box.

One of my daughter-in-law works as computer programmer. So she is very competent and knowledgeble about any computer topic. So aftermy daughter left I asked my daughter -in-law to create on blog for me and here it is.

I hope this blog will enable me to share my feelings, experience,hopes and aspirations as I go through life at his late stage. This bloog is dedicated to people who are close to me or anyone who wish to share their thought and experience. Comments should not be too crude, because it may kill my soul, or hurt my delicate feelings. It is funny at this age, one is very sensitive and usually cannot take harsh criticisms.

I started the days with a good bath. Showered and shampooed my hair, cut and clean my nails. I have been visiting my eldest son since Monday 26th December.2005. So this is my 6th day here.

It has been quite an exciting week really. I had four of my eleven grandchildren with me. My youngest grandson is only two and he is really a handful. But I enjoyed having him with me. He is so cute and adorable with brown curly hair and large innocent eyes. He is so bubbly and cuddly. I thank Allah for this gift to my eldest daughter. Everyone in the family loved and enjoyed playing with him. He is very smart and intelligent too.

I had him for four days but his mother decided to take him back to Kota Bharu last night. I drove them to the KL International Airport in my Proton Wira.

This morning my second daughter and her family came to visit me. They live in USJ. She brought along a freshly baked carrot cake. It is Sarah's favorite cake. It was Sarah's birthday last week. Sarah is my fourth granddaughter. She is twelve. But as we were all so busy with our own schedules on her birthday, she had to be contented with a belated birthday present. Sorry Sarah!! This is life in Kuala Lumpur.

After performing our Zohor prayers, we took off to K.L. My eldest son,his wife and two children and me went to collect my baju Kebaya from our tailor in MARA building complex.

It was quite dissapointing. The baju had to be altered twice. It was too tight. I had never had this problem before. I wonder wheather my measurement had changed drastically or my figure had aged. Anyway it was quite alright. After the alteration the baju look O.K. But I don't look that shapely anymore,like I used to be.

Before going to the tailor we stopped to have lunch of "ikan bakar" at a little restaurant behind Istana negara. I have not been to this restaurant for a long time. I used to frequent this restaurant whenI was still working with the government years ago. But the placeis still "cool" and serve one of the best roasted fish in the city. but as my dauhgter -in-law commented the price has more the trippled. One piece of ikan terobok now cost RM 9.00. But it was very fresh as though it has just being brought in from the sea.

On our way back to Bandar Seri Putra, where my son and his family resides , we stopped in Bangsar for my son to do some errands.

It was about 4.00 o'clock when we left Bangsar and headed for "Alamanda", the new shopping center in Putrajaya. I have been there twice before on my own, but I got lost on the way back every time. As soon as we arrived we went to perform our "Asar" prayers at the surau. There are many ladies in there but there are plenty of "telekong" to spare.

There are many shops including Carrefour. Parkson, Toycity,Watson and various eating outlets such as Nasi ayam.KFC.McDonalds to name a few. I noticed there are many Malays shopping here.

I end up buying a pair of shoes and a lipstick. I don't know but I have a teribble weakness. I like buying shoes and handbags.