My Birthday

It is Wednesday, 10th October 2007. I celebrate my birthday with my youngest and cutest grandson, Tengku Mikhail (MIKI) who turns four today. In three days time we will be celebrating Hari Raya ‘Aidil Fitri’, the most celebrated month of the Muslim calendar.

Today is also the launching of the first Malaysian into space. It is indeed an auspicious day and so glad to be part of it. According to my mother I was born on a Wednesday evening just before Maghrib prayer.

Throughout this month of Ramadhan, I have managed to keep myself quite healthy. I have not missed any of the puasa and able to perform the Solat Tarawikh quite regularly on my own. This year I decided to perform the prayer at my own pace.

I love the quietness and the peacefulness of an air conditioned room in the privacy of my own home. I was able to concentrate in my own ‘doa’ instead of just being a follower of the Imam who recites verses of the Holy Quran which was too long.

I felt like a statue standing and waiting for him to finish his reading. The worst part was, I do not understand the meaning of what is being read or recited. Last year I went to the local mosque to perform the Tarawikh, not because I understand the Imam but I was there because I was taken by his good voice.

This year’s Imam, as usual also imported from Thailand for the duration of the whole of the fasting month, but I do not fancy his voice. Malaysian as a whole like imported goods. I am sure there are locals available but foreigners make better Imams I suppose!!

So this year I make it a point I know how to perform my own Tarawikh. I refer to books on how to perform the prayers and memorize all the important Surah.

I did a lot of home work on my own. I was determined to do it on my own. The result was fantastic. I do not have to rush to the mosque. After breaking the fast, I went straight up to my room to perform the Maghrib prayer and read short verses from the Quran.

Then I took a break to watch the news on TV and took a short nap before proceeding to perform the Solat Isyak and Tarawikh.

Many of my friends gave a me a weird look when I told them I don’t go to the mosque to perform the Tarawikh.

Let it be lah!!. I am happy and I hope Allah is happy with me.

PATRIOTISM AND LOYALTY

Today I felt a little guilty or apprehensive about not having any feeling of patriotism and loyalty towards my own birth place, Kelantan?. I must admit that I do not have any respect to the political leaders, or the state administrators.

It is not that I have not tried. I have even been thinking about the possibility of producing a book on Kelantan. About its people, its culture, places of interest and things like that. But words do not seem to flow when I see so many contradictory practices imposed by the state government on her people, especially her women. For that matter, I am not even an emancipated woman.

Kelantan is where I was born, educated, worked and got married.

My family and I only started moving away from Kelantan in l967 when we moved to Johor, the most southern state of Peninsular Malaysia. Moving to Johor was the first stint outside the state of Kelantan. I was very excited because we were moving near to Singapore, my shopping paradise. But sad to say, we were there only for a couple of months before we were moving again.

Before leaving for Johor in l967, I was working in the District Office, Kota Bharu for about seven years. I got myself transferred to Johor Bahru, the state capital to be with my husband who was posted to Johor Bahru.

My husband the Johor scholarship holder

He was on a Johor state Scholarship when he went to study for his first degree at the age of age of 28. He was already married with two children. Another child was born when he was in the University. He graduated with a Bachelor of law degree (L.L.B) from the University of Singapore.

Within the same year we packed our bags to go to the United States of America. My husband was offered a “Ford Foundation scholarship” to pursue his post graduate studies in Public Administration, at the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We came back to Malaysia about a month before the political unrest of May 13th 1969.My husband was later employed by the University of Malaya, Faculty of Economic and Public Administration as a lecturer where he teaches Public administration, Constitutional law and Land law.

Before going to the United States, the furthest I have ever traveled was to Singapore where my husband was studying. Of course I have been to Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Hadyaii and Sungai Golok before. But going to the U.S was beyond my wildest dream and the most exciting event in my life, but I also have to make a big decision of my life. I am talking about my mother and my little baby girl.

I was an only child

I was brought up as an only child and my mother was a single parent. I was spoilt rotten. I was never asked to do any house work nor have I ever offered to help her, but she never complained. I was treated like a Duchess.

I was very close to her. We were practically inseparable. When we moved to Johor, she came to live with us. She was everything to me. I have never done anything without her consent, permission or approval. She was always there for me. Leaving her was unthinkable at that time. But the prospect of going to U.S supersedes everything.

I was initially very sad to leave my doting mother and my baby girl ‘Chik’ whose full name is Nik Adura Zuliani. She was only nine months old then.

It was in l967 and I had been married for about seven years and already had three beautiful daughters. My first daughter ‘Lin’ whose full name is Nik Elin Zurina was six and the second girl ‘Nun’ full name Nik Ainun Zanariah ,was only five years old.
But then I had to make a choice. I think that was of the most difficult choice I have ever made in my life. I was only twenty eight years old then.

I felt so sad to leave my mother and my youngest child. It almost broke my heart. I wanted my mother to come along, but she was not keen to travel to the other side of the world. She was afraid she might die there “and it might be difficult” she told me.

I was a great fan of Hollywood Movies

I was very sad to leave her and the baby. But I did not have much choice. It is between mother and husband and the opportunity to travel overseas especially to U.S. A place I have always dreamed of, as I was a great fan of Hollywood movies in my younger days.

I was a great fan of Hollywood movie stars and was very passionate about Doris Day, Susan Hayward,Ester Williams, Elaine Stewart, Roy Rogers, Rock Hudson and John Derek. I also like Jerry Lewis the Comedian.

I even name my eldest daughter Elin after Elaine Stewart, my favorite movie star. I would have named her Elaine but that was too Western. My husband might not like that. I love Elaine Stewarts’ nose and hair. She was very beautiful.

Going to U.S was like a dream come true. I wanted to bring all the children with me but my mother insisted that she wanted me to leave my baby with her. ”You would not be able to take care of all three kids by yourself” she insisted.

I cannot deny that, all my children were closer to her than to me because I was always busy with my work. When my children were small I was holding three jobs at one time. She had her hands full looking after them.

I was working as a clerk with the District Office from 8.00a.m to 4.30 p.m. Then I would rush up to Radio Malaya, Wakaf Che Yeh where I worked as a part-time announcer ( I think now they call it Radio DJ) until about six in the evening, then in the evening around eight o’clock I will be in Kedai Mulung where I teach adult education to a group of village elders.

I was doing this until my husband graduated from the University. I was young and energetic and I was in high demand in those days. I could choose to work anywhere and anytime. I was also enjoying my popularity. It was wonderful to be recognized wherever you go.

Leaving mother and daughter and life in the U.S in the sixties

Leaving Kelantan to go to the U.S and leaving and my mother and my baby was the greatest decision for me. It was a sacrifice I had to bear with. But I did not regret. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Learning to be a full time house wife, for the first time was indeed a wonderful experience.
My two girls were wonderful too. They did not give me much problem. I would drop them at school at 9.00 o’clock in the morning and pick them up at 3.00 o’clock. In between I had all the time to myself.

My husband was not fussy about food so I can cook at my own whim and fancies and he would never complaint. I join the International women’s club and took up a few hobbies. I sew all my children’s clothes and enjoyed window shopping.

I would write to my mother quite regularly and sent her money. After exchanging into Malaysian Ringgit, she had about RM.1000.00 a month. It was a lot in those days and she was very thrifty. With the money she was able to pay for my daughters’ expense, herself and my two adopted children who was helping her. She even managed to buy a few pieces of jewelries for my baby.

Moving house

When my husband was teaching in the University, all of us moved to Kuala Lumpur. The university had many staff quarters in and around Kuala Lumpur. Before we were offered to stay in the quarters we rented a small house. It was the old section of Petaling Jaya, Selangor. It was one-storey bungalow with three small bedrooms. The first university quarters we moved was in Lorong Jambatan, near Taman Seputeh. After that we were offered another University quarters in Section 16, which is just a walking distance to the University.Then it was Section17 in Petaling Jaya.

The house in section 17 was the best. It was a big very bungalow with seven bedrooms, all with bathroom attached. I consider this house as my favorite because it was very big and I could accommodate all my relatives who came to visit us. My uncle was so impressed with the house and the many bathrooms that he told me that “he does not have enough stools to pass into the toilet bowls”.

I wondered what he would have said if he had visited our big government quarters in Johor Bharu, in Jalan Straits View. It was situated on top of the hill with one acre of compound facing the Straits of Johor. Too bad he had no opportunity to visit us because we were there for a short time only.

I left Kota Bharu, my home town, more than thirty years. By then I had another three children, all boys.

All my children are now grown up. Five of them already married and had families of their own. My youngest is still studying.

Moving Back to Kota Bharu

I only came back to Kota Bharu, in November, l998. That was ten years after my mother died and two years after my husband died in l996.

Coming back to Kota Bharu, was another big decision in my life. I would have stayed back in Kuala Lumpur with my youngest son, had my eldest daughter and her children not moved back to Kota Bharu earlier that year. I missed them so much especially my grand-daughter Tengku Diyana, who was very close to me.

Kota Bharu is not the same. It is like we are living in Middle East or Iran in particular. There are separate counters for men and women in the supermarket. All the women wear the head covers. Some of them wore black veils like the Arabs. Even the children wear the Julbab or head gear that covers the hair. Even the bill boards were different. All the women models in the advertisements wore head covers. They must be adhering to the state government’s ruling. It is so funny to see Maya Karin wearing the tudung. On top of that no shops are allowed to operate during Friday prayers. Hey, are we in Mecca? Are we turning Kelantan into an Arab country? Before long I think all the women will not be allowed to do their business in the market, like Pasar Siti Khadijah. They should be left at home to obey their husbands’ command.

Already the women are not allowed to participate in the Koran Reading competition or the Tilawah Al-Quran. What a shame. Women’s voice cannot be considered as Aurat because I have read about the Prophet’s wife Aishah r.a talking in various Hadiths about what the prophet did and did not do during his time. How did she do it if she did not talk or communicate to the men. If a women’s voice is aurat, then how would women read the Quran. The Quran is meant to be listened and there are even various tunes or “Taranum” assigned to it like the Hijaz, Raf, Bayati, Nahwan, and others? Are the women excluded from all these? Are they not allowed to enjoy the beautiful sound of the Quran? People are supposed to convert to Islam just by listening to the Quran. If I am mistaken Umar ibn’l Khattab, the great Califh was one of them.He converted to Islam when he heard the Quran. That is the greatness of the Quran.

Where is our freedom? People look at me like an alien because I don’t adhere to their so called “dressing code”. I was told all the women who work with the state government will have to cover their heads, and not only that women are not supposed to wear the lipsticks, because their men cannot control their sex desires?

Plan your daily menu for a healthy living.

I have always been aware of the importance of health since I was young. I have “never taken my health for granted” because I believed that “Health is wealth” and “you are what you eat”. The latest trend is to “Eat what you are”. I will go into this later. But how do you maintain a good health.

What is health?

Unlike animals and plants we need a certain amount of food, clothing and shelter to survive in this ever changing world. Your body needs proper nutrients to grow and glow. Beside food, human being also requires other basic needs, such as love and companionships for our emotional, physical and spiritual development.

When you are young and strong, your body resistance is still strong. The antigens and antibodies in your system, helps you to regulate and control your heath system, including your emotional and spiritual well being. Thus you are not easily weakened by minor ailments such as colds and flu. It will usually go off after a few days rest. But as you age, your body resistance can no more take the slightest jerks; the bones become more brittle; your heart becomes weaker and the blood pressure rises alarmingly.

Food and health

With the advancement of food technology and the variety of food available to us today we are spoilt for choice. But how does our body react to all these good food that is being swallowed into our digestive systems? Will the amount of food we consumed has any influence on our health and optimal well being?

How do we make the right choice? Which food is best for us? Where do we go for advice? Are we eating correctly? Do we need to count calories every time we eat? These are some of the pertinent question that needs to be addressed as we are exposed to the all type of health risks. It is very depressing to know that as the medical knowledge progresses, more and more new diseases are discovered. More and more people suffer from all sorts of medical complications such as heart diseases, diabetics, liver and other ailments which were unheard off in the olden days.

Indeed every living thing needs the daily supply of food to survive and flourish.
Malaysia being multicultural and multi-racial her food choices are a fantastic spread of variety of taste and color.

Malaysia is indeed a food heaven. If you are in Sarawak you will fall in love with her Umai ( the raw fish mixed in asam kelubi or asam paya as the local called it).You go to an Indian Restaurant you will want to indulge yourself in their special banana leaf spreads. Not forgetting the various specially prepared rice dishes such as Nasi lemak, Nasi kerabu, Nasi dagang, Nasi berlauk, Nasi tumpang and all the other sweet desserts such as Jala emas, kueh kelompang, pelepat pisang and hundreds of other specialties from each of the 14 states in Malaysia.

The best part about all these food is that, one need not spend valuable time in the kitchen preparing them. They are easily available all year round in restaurants, market place, and hawker stalls near you. Not forgetting the various fast food restaurants mushrooming all around you.

Controlling your eating habit

We must now learn to control our eating habit. We should know what food is good for our body and what is not. The latest theory is that you should be eating food according to your blood type. This is an interesting discovery because at least everyone should be aware of their blood type.

A book on this subjects has been written by Peter J.D’Alamo,ND entitled “eat right for your type” and “the Answer is in your Blood type” by Steven M.Weissberg. explained what we should eat according to your blood type.

Dr.D’Alamo has classified “food into beneficial, neutral and avoid which are further classified into fifteen types of foods namely; meat, fish, oils, beans, cereals, breads, vegetables, fruits, juices, condiments .etc.”

For further readings please go to http;//www.innerself.com/health/eating _according_to_ancenstry.htm.

One interesting feature about these theories is you should eat according to your blood type which is amazing. I have never bothered about my blood type before. I know it is
type “O” but has never considered it as an important factor in my daily life.

I have been suffering from IBS for more than five years now. I discovered that I cannot take dairy products and had been avoiding cheese cakes (one of my favorite) and carbonated drinks because I will have stomach upset and had to run to the nearest toilet as soon as I consumed these food.

Now I know the reason better. These are the food are under Avoids for people with type “O” blood. But my favorite drink has always been coffee and tea. Now I am supposed to avoid them. Oh! My Gosh! Life is indeed becoming more difficult as you grow older. But I am so happy. It is still not too late to change. I hope?

I FELT SO BLESSED

A few days ago I was at Tengku Amir’s school when he sat for his UPSR exams. The night before he was making a last minute preparations for his science paper with me. He was very worried about it because during his trial exams he managed to get only a B in the subject. His mother was at the school the last two days, but she had to leave for Kuala Lumpur yesterday because of work commitment. So I replaced her to lend support for Ku Amir. Well, that was the least I could do. Maybe it will boost his confidence a little.

Tengku Amir is very intelligent and talks like an adult when he is not moody. He is only eleven years old but he is already sitting for his UPSR. He is very confident of himself. Despite his small size and made of skin and bones, he has already made up his mind to be a footballer. ‘I will represent Malaysia’, he said. He practices every evening with our neighbor’s children. He watched every live telecast of football matches over Astro (our local Satellite TV programs). He memorized all the team Players name and knew all their background and the number of scores for each team. His favorite team is of course Barcelona of Spain. His favourite player is Ronaldinho. He wears the Teams’ T-shirt whenever he practices football with his friends. I pray that one day he will achieve his dreams.

Last year his elder sister, Tengku Diyana Puteri, sat for her UPSR and she scored all A’s and Ku Amir is making sure that he will get 5A’ too. I am sure he is going to get his way judging from the way he emerged from the exams hall beaming from ear to ear. However, that is my Ku Amir, always confident of himself, sometimes overconfident.

When I was at the school, I noticed a few parents were also there to lend support to their children. A few parents were enjoying breakfast in the school canteen, while another group was at the school ‘surau’, praying, or reading the Quran quietly at the corner praying for Allah’s blessings.

I was the only grandmother there. Everybody was commenting how strong I look and how lucky for Ku Amir to have a strong grandmother. I felt so blessed.

Yes. I am still strong and healthy. I have always been a health freak. Never taking my health for granted. I was always looking for ways to stay young, slim and healthy. So far I have managed to maintain my 48.5 kg weight for as long as I remember- just great for my 5.2 ft frame.

I kept my figure the way I was 40 years ago. All my friend said so. I maintained my figure because I was always reminded by my grandmother ‘never take your food unless you tie your waist before eating and do not drinks until you have finished your food’. I was also a dancer in my younger days and I used to enjoy going to the Gym during my free time.

I could still slipped into my old clothes whenever I felt the urge to do so. The only problem is my hair. White strands of hair seemed to be cropping up in many places over my crown. Not much, but enough to make me felt old and unattractive. This is something that nature is telling me that age is catching up. But I still love my body. It is the best gift God has given me besides my six lovely children and all my eleven grandchildren. They are my greatest assets.

So I have discovered a new trick. I dyed my hair every two or three months. My friends think that I am a freak. They were saying that I am already old and should accept my look as it is. I should also dress my age. You know in the loose baju kurung or the baju kebaya, our national costumes. Or course! I am proud of my national costumes. But why should I be a follower? Why should I listen to my friends who are so old fashion and had bodies like a gunny-sacks?
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I have nothing to hide. I still have a great figure. I still looked smashing in my figure-hugging baju kebaya and elegant in my baju kurung. But they are too baggy and restricted my movements. The other day I tripped on my sarong and fell on the concrete slab in front of my neighbors’ house. I was lucky, not many people saw me. I got up with a minor scratch on my knee. I had trouble performing my prayer. I t hurts every time I bend my knee.

I am more confident in my pants and short blouses. They gave me freedom of movement, besides I think I looked more like an executive than a kampong makchik. I DO NOT WANT TO BE CONSIDERED like an ordinary women in the street. Why should I dress like everybody else? In Kelantan, for that matter, everyone in the street dress similar. There is no distinction between the old and the young. The only difference is their body shape. The young is slim and pretty, while the old shows their bulge and spare tyres everywhere. They allow their fats and muscle to protrude in the wrong places

I hate to see women who allowed their figure to bloat like balloons after marriage. It is so unbecoming to see women riding pillion on motorcycles with their husbands- their back looking like bags of potatoes.

Power,Influence and Position in Society

Today I am going to be a little bit academic in my ‘coretan rasa’. I will be writing about ‘Power’.

Physically ‘power’ means strength. Technically ‘power’ means the rate of which work done or the energy transmitted. Mathematically ‘power’ means the product obtained when a number is multiplied by itself a certain number of times. Administratively and politically, ‘power’ means person or persons having the ability to control or influence others to listen and act according to their whims and fancies.

Sociologist Max Weber described ’power’ as the probability that one actor within a social relationship will be in a position to carry out his own will despite resistance, regardless of the basis on which this probability rests’.

As a conclusion, ‘power’ (achieved or ascribed) will have great influence over others in that society. They can make people work for them at their every beck and calls and nobody dared to resist their commands. To those under their command it is ‘your wish is my command, Sir!’

Early last month, my eleven-year old granddaughter, had been rehearsing for her Coral speaking-contest, due in the middle of next month. Before that, she was also rehearsing her Public speaking content and I was helping her, and I can sense her delightedness and looking forward to these two events. These two events will enable her to earn certificates when she leave school at the end of the year. She is in year six and will be sitting for her UPSR in September this year. This is her final year in primary school. With good results, she will be able to go to a school of her choice when she goes to secondary school.

But last week she told me she had to forgo her public speaking contest. Another classmate is replacing her. No! there was nothing wrong with my granddaughter! Her notes were in order, and her teacher had been coaching her and she had been practicing a few times after school.

She told me, she had to make way for this girl, as she is the daughter of an influential figure in the education department here and his daughter had been crying and wanted the teacher to choose her, instead of my granddaughter. My granddaughter and this girl had a good command of English.

I understand that the school can only enter only one contestant. I was also told that initially the girl was first given the honour but she had refused, so my granddaughter was taken to replace her. But now she had changed her mind and wanted to take part again. In order to please this girl, the teacher had advised my granddaughter to give up her chance and allow this girl to take part instead. This had caused a lot of stress and dissatisfaction to my granddaughter who has been looking forward to it.

This week she was very moody and refused to go for her extra classes organized by the school. It took me a lot of persuasion before she agreed to go to her extra classes. Her reason was, she hated to see the girl who had caused her to give up her chance of taking part in the contest.

To make matters worse, the girl is one of her best friend. My concern here is, what was the criteria for choosing her in the first place? Is the teacher practicing meritocracy or favoritism? Children are very sensitive and cannot easily accept changes, especially when it involves taking away something already given to them earlier.

Teachers should be more professional in dealing with such situation. They should stick to their decision and not make hasty changes to please one person at the expense of hurting another. Teachers should not bow to pressure from people above and the people above should not use their position to justify their means.

The passing of grandfathers' youngest wife.

Today is the passing of my grandfathers' last wife. I have already mentioned her in my episode 'In loving memory of my grandfather'. She had died in her sleep at a ripe old age of almost ninety. 'May her soul rest in peace'.

I have known this women for a very long time. She was always quiet and hardly do anything in the house.I remember her as the woman who would always be sitting by the front door looking out into the street. She hardly cook, other than just boiling her own rice and cooking her own 'ikan rebus' and eating it quietly in the kitchen.

She also hardly leave the house, except to visit her family in Gunung, a kampung about 45 minutes bus rides. She would take a bus in the morning and will usually come back after spending a few nights there. Other than that I don't remember her going anywhere.

She hardly ever participate in any of our daily activities. She was also a woman of few words. She also never took the initiative to learn new things. I remember one day grandfather was so anxious to teach her to sew on our sewing machine. My grandfather sort- of -drag her to the machine, put her foot on the pedal and asked her to push the pedal. We waited for her to push the pedal, but she would not do it. So, that was the first and the last time I saw my grandfather trying to teach her to learn anything.

When she gave birth to my auntie, she hardly took care of the baby.The baby was left entirely to us i.e my mother and me. I was only nine years old then, but she would trust me with the baby (my auntie). I would bathe the baby and dress her and my mother will feed the baby.

My mother practically became the mother and me her assistant. Now that she was gone, I would still remember how much she look up to me and I was always there for her when she needed me most.

This happen when I performed my Haj in the eighties. She went with another group and I went with another group, but by the will of Allah, I met her there. I could see how thrilled she was to see me. After meeting me she refused to join her group and wanted to join me instead. She was with her nephew then. But we tried to be with her as much as we can so as not to dissapoint her. After prayer I would bring her food and spent some time with her everyday throughout our stay inMecca. She was so happy.

why do I keep forgetting where I put my things

I admit I am forgetful because I am getting old. I am beginning to feel tired and frustrated when I cannot find my things though I rememer keeping them at that particular place.

When I put things I expect it to be there when I look for it the next time. I remember buying all my office needs like erasers, ballpens, scissors, puncher and staplers. I keep it in my drawers in my office for my own use.

But it happen everytime.When I want to use it....it is not there anymore. Why......why?I hate this. I keep looking and looking and looking. But it is nowhere to be found. After looking for it for nearly half an hour to one hour...sometimes for several hours. I felt tired and had to rest in bed. My mind became blurry and I feel tired. Very tired and frustrated.

When I asked those around me, nobody knew about it. So where has it gone. These things have no legs to walk away or wings to fly. It cannot just dissappear into thin air. This is what is bothering me now. Why I am so angry at people whom I loved so much. Maybe I should learn to control my temper and just don't bother to look if I loose anything! em....

But I am angry again when I found my office being used without my permission. It is not that I don't like to share my office, but at least try to keep the place in order and tidy just I had left it. Do not meddle with my computer. I have lost many documents and programs this way, and I do not know how to recover it. My knowledge in computer is very limited so when it is lost I felt so frustrated and angry. Can you blame me for being so 'bengkeng'.

This week I cannot access into my Instant Messenger at Yahoo. I cannot chat with Azan anymore. It always happen when my grandchildren was allowed access into my office. I do not know what they did, but everytime I allowed them in ....whoooooooshhhh! everthing disappeared.

I have just spent more that two hundred bucks to install a router in the office so that nobody enter my room to use the streamyx. But again when I was in KL last week, my room is in a mess.

I know I love all my grandchildren but I am tired. I cannot stand this mess in the office and losing documents in the computer is very frustrating. Sorry! I am blaming Kuya, Kuyana and KuMikhail for the mess. But they are the apple of my eyes.

The Wedding

Congratulations to both of you. It was a fantastic wedding. Everyone in the family chips in to make it a sucess. I felt so happy and elated at the professionalism displayed by all my children during the wedding. The reception at the Blue Wave Hotel in Shah Alam was really beautiful. You and Sufia look so perfect together. Ayis! I know you are a good son and will make a good husband for Sufia and you are a wonderful father to Ayin. I know Sufia will make you happy. She is so gentle with Ayin. Please make her happy. Do not spoil anything. Forget the past. Cherish the future together. Do not let your past spoil her happiness. A woman is very sensitive. She would not want to share you with anybody even for a few seconds. Remember that.

As for me, I give you my full blessings as I have never before given you. You have given me a beautiful daughter -in-law, and from our home town too. This wedding bring back so much fond memories of your father. How he disciplined the children. The way he showered his love on you all. What he taught you and your brothers and sisters....they were all there that night. I am sure he was there too that night. I felt so blessed, that I am still here to see how my children grow from beautiful babies to successful adults.

Life and Times

In loving memory of my grandfather.

When I was little, my grand father used to tell me stories using poetic versus or “Syair”. I was very familiar with listening, singing and reciting beautiful verses from him. He will tell me stories of “Siti Zubaidah”, “Selindang Delima” and “Puteri Bunga Mawar”. They were all stories about beautiful princesses and handsome princes. I never grew tired of listening to them, because these stories always had a happy-ending. My grandfather would tell me, again and again, until these stories seemed to come alive and I could imagine how beautiful the princesses and the princes were.

My grandfather had a wonderful voice and I loved him very much. I would sit on his lap or sleep by his side, while he tells me stories. Sometimes he would sing praises to Allah and asked me to join him. We would sing together until I fell asleep.

We were such a close-knit-family. There would be between six and eight children in the house. The latest addition was when my uncle took another wife after his first wife died. The woman was from a kampong and was very young. She was only sixteen when she married my uncle who was already in his forties. After she married him, she also brought along her two sisters to stay with us. We would play, dance and sing together, especially when my uncle switched on his radio. We were all very scared of him though. We would not dare touch the radio.

Radio in those days was an exclusive item. Not many people could afford it then. My uncle also owned a Mini Minor. It was black in color. He would drive it to work. He was a civil servant and would only be home in the evening. We would eagerly wait for him to come home so that we can listen to the radio.

I do not recall anything very nice about my uncle, because he was not very friendly towards me. I do not know the reason, but he seemed to love his adopted daughter very much, and would bring back food for her, but always seemed to forget me. My uncle commands respect from the kampong people, because of his position in the government. He was the chief clerk in the District and Land office in my hometown. People with problem relating to land and property would usually come to see him. He would usually not entertain them.

My grandfather would normally see and deal with them. He was very friendly and would do his best to help them. I was told, it was during one this session that he met his fourth wife.
My grandfather was a very handsome man. He was married four times. But I only remembered three of his wives. He fathered eight children; one by his first wife, three by his second, three by his third and one by his fourth wife.

My grandmother was his second wife while his fourth wife stayed with us in my grandmother’s house. But as far as I know my grandmother was the first wife, because none of us remembered his first wife. But we knew that, he had another wife by the fact there is daughter from that marriage whom my mother referred to as ‘Kak Wan’ or elder sister. She came to the house quite often, because her grandchildren were schooling in our hometown and staying with us. She was not staying in this country then. She was staying across the Thai border and was already married to a Thai national when we knew her. But we used to visit her. She had one daughter and five grandchildren when I knew her.

My grandmother’s house is quite big. It could accommodate eleven of us quite easily at any one time. Apart from my grandfather, grandmother and his other wife, we also had other close relatives staying with us. This included my uncle; his wife and two children; two of my grandfather’s great grandchildren (the grandchildren of my auntie who was staying in Thailand) and of course my mother and me. We had great time in the house. Full of laughter and all of us were very close to each other.

My mother was a wonderful women and a great cook too. She looked after all of us. My mother loves all of us. She never complained.

Sometime my grandfather did not come home. He stayed at his other wife’s house nearby. I thought this woman was very strange. She wanted to kill my grandmother’s youngest wife. She used to come charging into the house, with a knife shouting abusive words at my grandfather’s young wife. At that time I did not understand why she was behaving like that. It was not until my husband took a second wife after being married to him for twenty-five years. Only then did I understand her feelings and the reason why she was behaving like that. Luckily nobody was hurt, killed or harmed by her action.

My grandfather died when my youngest auntie was only six years old. Then the house became quieter and quieter as the years went by. My uncle moved to his own house after he had his third child by his latest wife. Then as we grew older; one by one left the house.

I was the one who got married first. Then it was my cousin’s turn to get married. Then the rest of us had to leave the house after my grandmother died and my husband took a job outside the state. My mother followed me everywhere we go, as she had nobody else except me. I was her only child.My grandmother’s house remained standing, until it was demolished in 2005 to make way for a commercial development project

snatch thief

Snatch thief

Snatch thief can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. It can happen to young and old; outside your own house; inside your car; in train; in buses, or in busy streets or in lonely places. It can happen in bright daylight or worse in dimly lit areas.

Due to the nature of their modes operandi, there is nothing much one can do, except to try to minimize our losses, if it happens to you.

These culprits usually work in pairs. Usually they are either on motorbikes or pretending to ask for direction, just to distract your attention.

They are very fast with their actions and in split seconds, all your important documents will change hands and the victims will be too shock to react.

It happened to me a few days ago. I was sitting alone in my car. I had just got into the car, when suddenly I saw a hand opening my car door and snatching my handbags which was placed in between the driver’s seat and the front passenger seat. It happen so fast, I was so stunt to react.

In the incident, I lost all my documents such as my new Mykad, driving license, pension card, two ATM cards, two credit cards, three Passbooks, a bunch of house keys and of course my money and my new handbag and my wallet.

After a few seconds I gathered my composure and tried to run after the culprits. But they were too fast for me.

There is nothing much one can do to stop this crime. But the lesson I learned from this experience is, never keep all your important documents in one place. Keep your document in separate places so that when it happens, you do not have to loose everything at the same time.

This will save you time and money having to have everything replaced.

Be prepared and be alert whenever you are alone. Before you alight from your car, make sure to look left and right and do not trust innocent-looking young men who came asking for directions. They are after your handbags, or your expensive looking jewelries.

Everything happen for a reason

Life always have its ups and down. Everyday as we go through life, things happen. It can be good or it can be bad. But whatever it is, when it happens, it happens for a reason. Only we do not realize it. But if you ponder for while, we may find that all things happen for a reason.

When it rain, water falls to the ground. Why? The reason is because without water life cannot be sustained. Nothing in this planet can survive without water. So God gave us rain.

Why is it that the world turns on its orbit every twenty-four hours? The answer is to enable us to calculate the time.

Why does the sun, rises in the morning and sets in the evening? This is to give us day and night. Why is it that we have to have day and night? This is to enable us to rest and revitalize our energy so that we can work the next day.

There is an answer for every question. If you cannot find an answer to your question then, maybe you are not asking the right question.

In my life I have experienced more than once of either being cheated, fooled or tricked. But when it happens, I always find myself wiser and more tolerant of other people’s need. Of course when I was young I was easily hurt and failed to see the reasons why things happen. I cannot see the reason why my boyfriend jilted me. I was so hurt I wanted to die. Then when I grew older, I found that I have many more boy friends. They were much better than my first boyfriend.

Then I realized God wanted to give me a better person than my first boyfriend.

So, do not start blaming others or yourself if anything bad happen to you. There’s bound to be something good in store for you. Just relax and think back. If you are a religious person, go back to Him, seek his guidance and forgiveness. Maybe you have wronged Him and He is reminding you or protecting you from something worse that only He knows.

A few days ago, my handbags with all my important documents were snatched as I was talking on the phone. I had placed my handbags on the hand-rest, between the two front seat of my car. Suddenly I saw for brief seconds a hand opening my car door and snatching my handbags. It happened so fast. I could not do anything. As I was on the phone, I just shouted into the phone. After a brief moment as I got down from the car which was not locked. I tried running after the two devils on the motorcycle, while shouting at them at the same time. But they were too fast for me. There goes my money, MyKad, pension card, credit cards, ATM cards, keys and everything.

Of course I was very upset and angry at the guys who robbed me, but I did not curse them or blame them for my misfortunes. Instead went back home to pray for God’s forgiveness, help and mercy and I also prayed for Allah to give mercy to those who robbed me. I hope that one day, they will realized their mistakes and perhaps turn a new lease of life. After all they are still young and healthy.

I started to count my blessings that I was unharmed. I have heard so much pain, these snatch thief has caused on some of their victims. Quite a few had died, hospitalized and suffered so much pain and some even suffered permanent damaged to their life and limbs. I thank Allah for that.

My Children are my passion

As I write this, my thoughts are with my youngest son who is studying in Ireland. He is in his second year in Cork University College, reading Medicine. I miss him a lot. I had him after an eleven year break and already in my fourties. He is the only one who is not married at the moment.

When my husband died of a heart attack in late 1996, he was the only one left at home. He was only twelve then. But I guessed he took things quite well and did not give me much problem.He was doing well in school. He was very obedient and very sweet. I could talk to him and he would always give me time to listen to my problems. It had been very hard for me to accept the fact that the best two persons of my life, that is my husband and my mother, are now gone forever. But my youngest son became my strength.

Both my husband and my mother left us very suddenly. My mother died due to Amphycilin. The medicine was prescribed to her by Dr.Nawi a private medical practitioner near our house in Kota Bharu. Apparently she was allergic to it. She succumbed to the poison after a week in hospital. We were all so devatated by the turn of event as we were all in Kuala Lumpur and was not with her when she took the medicine. It must have been fated that she had be there by herself towards the end of her life.

My mother has always been with me. We were very close. Me being an only child. She being a widow when she and my father were sepated when she was still carrying me. She did not remarry again until I was fifteen.

My mother and her new husband was very loving. But Alas! the marriege did not last long. My step-father died after two years of marriage. She never remarry again. My mother and I shared everything. I would never do anything without her approval. I would consult her on everything. Even now, even though she was gone more than 18 years, there are times when I think of her and longing to be near her. Listening to her cheerful laugh. I still miss her cooking. I still miss her advice. At time I still feel the need to consult her especially when the problem seems too big to solve alone.

What worries me now is that my son is not performing too well in his exams. I know he is an intelligent student and has been a top student at home.

Welcoming the New Year

Yesterday was 31st December,2005. It was the day I started to familiarize myself with this blog. It was my second daughter who introduced me to it when she started her own blog a few months ago. But I did not pay much attention to it then, other just reading her article which I found very interesting and quite refreshing.

The topic was brought up again yesterday,when her family came over to visit me in her brother's house.

As all my children are computer literates, their discussion usually revolves around sophisticated terminology. Sometime I found myself lost in their discussion and unable to comprehend what they are talking about. It is quitre frustrating at times, especially when I saw how nimble and agile their fingers are controlling the little box.

One of my daughter-in-law works as computer programmer. So she is very competent and knowledgeble about any computer topic. So aftermy daughter left I asked my daughter -in-law to create on blog for me and here it is.

I hope this blog will enable me to share my feelings, experience,hopes and aspirations as I go through life at his late stage. This bloog is dedicated to people who are close to me or anyone who wish to share their thought and experience. Comments should not be too crude, because it may kill my soul, or hurt my delicate feelings. It is funny at this age, one is very sensitive and usually cannot take harsh criticisms.

I started the days with a good bath. Showered and shampooed my hair, cut and clean my nails. I have been visiting my eldest son since Monday 26th December.2005. So this is my 6th day here.

It has been quite an exciting week really. I had four of my eleven grandchildren with me. My youngest grandson is only two and he is really a handful. But I enjoyed having him with me. He is so cute and adorable with brown curly hair and large innocent eyes. He is so bubbly and cuddly. I thank Allah for this gift to my eldest daughter. Everyone in the family loved and enjoyed playing with him. He is very smart and intelligent too.

I had him for four days but his mother decided to take him back to Kota Bharu last night. I drove them to the KL International Airport in my Proton Wira.

This morning my second daughter and her family came to visit me. They live in USJ. She brought along a freshly baked carrot cake. It is Sarah's favorite cake. It was Sarah's birthday last week. Sarah is my fourth granddaughter. She is twelve. But as we were all so busy with our own schedules on her birthday, she had to be contented with a belated birthday present. Sorry Sarah!! This is life in Kuala Lumpur.

After performing our Zohor prayers, we took off to K.L. My eldest son,his wife and two children and me went to collect my baju Kebaya from our tailor in MARA building complex.

It was quite dissapointing. The baju had to be altered twice. It was too tight. I had never had this problem before. I wonder wheather my measurement had changed drastically or my figure had aged. Anyway it was quite alright. After the alteration the baju look O.K. But I don't look that shapely anymore,like I used to be.

Before going to the tailor we stopped to have lunch of "ikan bakar" at a little restaurant behind Istana negara. I have not been to this restaurant for a long time. I used to frequent this restaurant whenI was still working with the government years ago. But the placeis still "cool" and serve one of the best roasted fish in the city. but as my dauhgter -in-law commented the price has more the trippled. One piece of ikan terobok now cost RM 9.00. But it was very fresh as though it has just being brought in from the sea.

On our way back to Bandar Seri Putra, where my son and his family resides , we stopped in Bangsar for my son to do some errands.

It was about 4.00 o'clock when we left Bangsar and headed for "Alamanda", the new shopping center in Putrajaya. I have been there twice before on my own, but I got lost on the way back every time. As soon as we arrived we went to perform our "Asar" prayers at the surau. There are many ladies in there but there are plenty of "telekong" to spare.

There are many shops including Carrefour. Parkson, Toycity,Watson and various eating outlets such as Nasi ayam.KFC.McDonalds to name a few. I noticed there are many Malays shopping here.

I end up buying a pair of shoes and a lipstick. I don't know but I have a teribble weakness. I like buying shoes and handbags.

Tentang diriku ini

Diriku ini hanya seorang insan biasa yang telah dirahmati Allah dengan tubuh badan yang sihat. Aku teramat bersyukur diatas kurniaan ini. Aku juga telah melalui dunia persekolahan yang sempurna, dan telah berpeluang menjejak kakiku ke Menara Gading hingga keperingkat Ijazah yang kedua.

Aku bertemu jodoh dengan suamiku pada 1 September 1960. Kami dikurniakan enam orang cahaya mata yang comel-comel yang terdiri dari tiga puteri dan tiga putera. Syukur kehadrat Illahi diatas kurniaan ini.

Apa yang lebih mengembirakan aku adalah semua anak-anakku telah pun berpeluang melangkah kaki mereka ke Menara Gading. Buat masa ini hanya anak bungsuku sahaja yang belum selesai pengajiannya dalam bidang perubatan di sebuah Universati diluar negara. Insya Allah dia juga akan mengikut jejak kakak-kakak dan abang-abangnya lulus dengan cemerlang.

Semenjak suami dan ibuku yang tercinta kembali kepangkuan Illahi, aku tidak lagi seaktif dulu. Jiwaku kini kosong, kecuali bila aku dikelilingi anak-anak dan cucu-cucu. Diriku kini terasa terasing kerana tiada lagi tempatku mengadu dan menumpang kasih.

Semasa usiaku masih muda, aku merupaseorang yang aktif dalam kerja-kerja amal dan bergiat cergas didalam berbagai kegiatan sosial.

First posting

This blog is dedicated to my children, grandchildren, friends and families.